


Clexa Prompt Haven

by pleasanthell



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-15 15:47:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 23,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3452876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasanthell/pseuds/pleasanthell





	1. Chapter 1

“What are they doing?” Clarke asked Lexa, watching a line of grounder warriors walk into a tent together.

Lexa was surprised by Clarke’s appearance next to her. She hadn’t seen Clarke since they left Mount Weather. “It is customary after a war for a warrior to get a marking to remember it.”

“Marking?” Clarke asked.

Lexa shrugged off her armor and pointed to the tattoo on her arm.

Clarke looked at the tattoo that she’d never noticed before and gently took Lexa’s arm, looking it over. “Do you have more?”

Lexa nodded slowly. She looked to the tent. “I am going to make another.” She knew that Clarke was naturally curious, “Would you like to watch?”

The blonde eagerly nodded and followed Lexa into her tent. She watched as Lexa got out her tools and laid them across the table. As Clarke watched, she asked, “Where are your other tattoos?”

Lexa stopped what she was doing and turned her back to Clarke. She pulled up the back of her shirt, revealing a few small tattoos on her back. Clarke moved around the table and touched Lexa’s back. She found that some of the tattoos covered scars on her back while other ones bordered muscles and her spine. She ran her fingers over a few of them before realizing how intimate a gesture it was.

Clarke took a step back. “You’ve been in all those wars?”

Lexa nodded slowly. She gestured to her arm, “This one was for Anya.”

“And Costia?” Clarke asked.

Lexa turned to the side and pulled up the side of her shirt. It was long and simple, two intertwining lines running across her ribcage. She dropped her shirt when the door to her tent opened. Lincoln stepped in, respectfully staying close to the door.

Lexa gestured to the tools on the table. Lincoln immediately got to work putting it all together and then opening his small book to sketch something. Clarke watched him draw, offering some suggestions. Eventually, Lincoln just handed over the sketchbook so Clarke could show him. They agreed on a pattern that Clarke offered and Lincoln tweaked a bit.

They showed it to Lexa who approved it. She laid on her side on the table and moved her shirt up to expose the side of her ribcage that didn’t have markings on it.

Clarke painted on the design with the black paint that was typical for grounders to use. All the while, she was having to control her breathing, not wanting to give away how much being that close to Lexa was affecting her. When she was finished, she watched Lincoln use a needle and black ink to go over the simple design. Clarke sat in front of Lexa and occasionally asked her if she was okay. Lexa would always wave her off. It wasn’t her first tattoo and it wouldn’t be her last.

When Lincoln finished, he started to take apart the equipment for storage when Clarke stopped him, “I want one too.”

Lexa sat up, knowing that her side was going to be sore for a while, “You do?”

Clarke nodded and pointed at the open book on the table at the design that had just been inked onto Lexa’s skin. “I want that. On my back.”

Lexa and Lincoln looked skeptically at each other which upset Clarke. “I fought in the same war you did.”

“Of course,” Lexa nodded to Lincoln. She gestured to the table and Clarke took off her jacket, pulled up her shirt, and used her fingers to tell Lincoln exactly where she wanted it.

He painted the design on first and then got the needle ready.

Lexa could see that Clarke had underestimated the pain after the first few pricks of the needle, but she didn’t say anything. She bit her lip and took deep breaths, letting Lincoln work.

The Commander knelt down in front of Clarke and looked at her face. She could see Clarke was uncomfortable, but she wasn’t going to show it. Lexa ever so gently pushed the hair out of Clarke’s face and found the blue eyes looked back at her. “May I tell you a story?”

Clarke smiled at Lexa, knowing that it was a way to distract her from the pain of the ritual.

Lexa proceeded to tell Clarke the story of a beautiful warrior goddess who rode down from the heavens on a metal horse. Lexa explained how she was smart and beautiful, but also a healer. She had hair of gold and eyes as blue at the midday sky. Her hands were strong, but soft magically healing all those she touched. She told Clarke about how the goddess would lead everyone into battle and how she was so magnificent that the enemy would give up after a few minutes because they knew it was of no use to fight her.

By the end of the story Clarke was smiling. She looked at Lexa, “Who taught you that story?”

“It’s been passed down for generations,” Lexa smiled back, knowing that Clarke saw through her lie, but the smile on Clarke’s face more than made up for it.

“Thank you,” Clarke quietly offered.

Lexa looked over Clarke’s shoulder and saw that Lincoln was putting up the equipment with a content smile on his face. He was amused by Lexa’s story. He was fond of both women and was glad that they had found comfort in each other. He asked if they needed anything else and when they declined, he left to go find his own warrior goddess.

“Come here,” Lexa told Clarke from where her bed was. Lexa was sitting on the bed, holding a small vial of some kind of liquid. She put some on her fingers and gently rubbed it onto her new markings. Clarke pulled up her shirt in the back and let Lexa tenderly put the oil on her tattoo.

When Lexa was putting away the oil, Clarke turned toward her, looking down at the seated Commander. She waited for Lexa to look at her before speaking, “I wanted to thank you for what you’ve done for my people. We couldn’t have done this without you.”

“The war has strengthened the alliance that we have built,” Lexa conceded that everything was not only her doing.

But Clarke pointed out that Lexa had build most of the alliance before she came along. Before Lexa could rebut, she added, “And thank you for…the story you just told me.” She shyly looked at Lexa, “It was nice.”

“It was true,” Lexa stood up, but stayed close to her bed.

Clarke looked Lexa over and again was seeing the sweet woman in front of her, not the cold Commander. She bit her lip over a smile. She didn’t know what it was about Lexa that just made her feel safe. Around Lexa, she was okay.

All Lexa wanted was to see Clarke happy. She had seen so much pain in her time. When someone had the chance to be happy, she needed to take it. Lexa smiled back, “Be careful when you sleep, Clarke. Your marking will be sore for a little while.”

Clarke nodded, “Thanks.” She licked her lips, not ready to let go of her comfort in Lexa, “Do you wanna…go for a walk? With me?”

The Commander could see the hope in Clarke’s eyes. She could never say no to spending more time with the blonde leader. There was a small nod before they both stepped out of their tent. The warriors around them were all admiring their new tattoos.

Octavia walked up to Clarke as she walked with Lexa, “Check it out.” She showed off the tattoo that wrapped around her forearm.

Clarke smiled brightly. “That’s awesome, Octavia. I got one too.”

“No way,” Octavia grinned, “Show me.”

Clarke turned around and lifted up the back of her shirt. Octavia leaned close to see the intricate details. “That’s so pretty.”

“Lexa has this one too on to her side,” Clarke excitedly told Octavia.

The warrior blinked, a shocked look on her face, “You have the same marking?”

Lexa’s face fell. She had forgotten. She was so worried about Clarke’s pain that it didn’t occur to her.

“What? What does that mean?” Clarke looked from Lexa to Octavia.

Lexa muttered to Clarke that she would change her marking immediately. Octavia clapped Clarke’s shoulder and grinned, “Congratulations. You’re grounder married.”

Clarke took her turn to be stunned. Lexa looked panicked next to her when Clarke looked to her. She turned to Octavia, “Find Lincoln. I’ll have mine changed.”

Octavia started to walk off, but Clarke grabbed her arm, “Wait. What exactly does grounder married mean?”

Octavia shrugged, “You get each other’s stuff if the other one dies.” She looked to Lexa, “That’s kinda it right? It’s so our spirits know how to find each other when we die.”

Lexa nodded, “People with the same markings share triumphs and failures. They fight together.”

Clarke looked at Lexa, “We do that already.” She let go of Octavia and took Lexa’s hand, “You don’t have to get your marking changed. I-I mean unless you want to.”

The Commander smiled softly. “Are you sure?”

Clarke pushed up on her toes and gently kissed Lexa in the middle of the village. When she dropped back onto her heels, she nodded, “Very sure.”


	2. Chapter 2

It took a few days, but Bellamy was finally rested enough to resume life on the ground. He was made a guard and given a gun that he didn’t initially want. He finally agreed to carry it, but it was never in his hands. He walked around with the rifle across his back.

He was surprised by the transformation that his sister had gone through. She went from a flighty free spirit to a wild warrior. It felt like it all happened while he was gone.

He picked up some breakfast from the line in Camp Jaha and wandered toward what was left of the Woods clan camp across the hill. He wanted to check on Octavia. She didn’t need him watching over her anymore, but it was a habit for him that he couldn’t break.

Bellamy wandered through the camp, feeling safe among the grounders who had rescued him and his friends when it looked like they weren’t going to make it out.

“Clarke,” he called when he saw the blonde walking down a path in the camp.

She turned around with a smile, “Hey. How are you?”

“Good,” he took a bite of the jerky that the grounders had taught the Sky people to make. He had had jerky from both camps and the Sky people had a long way to go in flavoring. “Have you seen Octavia?”

“She and Indra are in Lexa’s tent,” Clarke gestured the direction she had been walking, “We’re going to talk about potential settlements with the grounds and what we can do to help each other now. Wanna come?”

Bellamy looked up at the overcast sky and then back down at Clarke, “Yeah. I guess I don’t have anything better to do now.”

Clarke smiled, “That’s a good thing.”

They entered the tent and found Lexa sitting on the throne with some advisers already around her. Clarke’s mom was the one commanding Lexa’s attention at the moment.

Abby was explaining something to Lexa, gesturing to maps and then holding Lexa’s eyes.

Lexa’s eyes flickered to Clarke when she walked in. When Clarke smiled at her, she had to fight to keep a straight face and listen to Abby.

Lexa told Abby that she would take her suggestion under advisement and that Indra was really the one to talk to, gesturing to her general who was having her own little meeting with Marcus. Lexa stood, everyone’s attention turning to her. “Now that we’ve all had time to rest, it’s time to discuss our future. The Sky People have proven themselves to be strong. The Sky People and the Woods Clan work well together and we have much to learn from each other.” Lexa stepped up to the table that everyone was standing around. She touched the table with her fingertips, “It is time to decide where we go now.” Lexa’s eyes rose from the table to the people around her. Her voice lowered considerably. “My people are divided. Many want to go back to their homes and let the Sky People fend for themselves. I believe we are stronger together, but we must prove that to the people.”

“Healers,” Clarke spoke up and looked over at her mom for a second. She looked back at Lexa, “We can train healers. Going to the hospital will be invaluable not just for supplies that might be there, but for the information that could still be there.”

“I got some of the cars working from Mount Weather,” Raven added, having been added to Clarke’s unofficial counsel as the engineering representative, “If we drive, it’ll take a fraction of the time to get there.”

“If the hospital is still there,” Octavia added.

Everyone stopped talking and looked at Lexa. She scanned the faces around her and settle on talking directly to Clarke who was not only the leader, but the person she found it most easy to talk to, “We can send a scout team tomorrow.” She looked to Raven, “Will your vehicles make it through the woods?”

Raven shrugged, “Maybe. It’s hard to know for sure because we’ve never been out that way.”

Lexa nodded, “The scout team will travel on foot until we can clear paths for the vehicles.” She waited for someone to bring up something else. Raven immediately jumped in, “Would any of the grounders be interested in mechanics and engineering?”

The discussion went on about what the grounders and the sky people could teach each other and what kind of permanent settlement they could make. Clarke had tuned out the conversation and was looking at some of the maps on the table. She felt a bump on her shoulder and looked up at Bellamy. She raised her eyebrows in question.

“The Commander keeps checking you out,” Bellamy whispered with a grin.

Clarke couldn’t stop the delighted smile from her face. She worried that she had hurt Lexa when she told her she wasn’t ready yet. She bit her lip, trying to subtly look back at Lexa. She caught Lexa’s eyes once and the Commander had to look down to compose herself.

“Oh,” Bellamy smirked, “You got a little thing going on.”

“No,” Clarke shook her head and turned over the map on the table, “I’m – I’m not ready. She understands.” The smile faded from Clarke’s face.

“What are you waiting for?” Bellamy asked, “War’s over.” He ruffled his hair, leaning on the table next to Clarke. Before Clarke could answer, Bellamy caught Clarke’s eyes, making sure that she was listening, “You never know when something new and terrible is going to pop out of those woods.” Bellamy touched Clarke’s shoulder, “We have been through so much shit, you and me. All of us on the drop ship.” He offered her an encouraging smile, “She makes you happy. Even when she’s wearing her terrifying war paint.”

Clarke ducked her head with a bashful smile. She peeked up at Bellamy, “I don’t want to rush.”

“Then don’t rush,” Bellamy shrugged, dropping his arm from Clarke’s shoulder, “I’m sure she’d be happy to just hang out. Go hunting or whatever grounders do for dates. You just…need to smile like you do when you look at her. Even if you have to take her out into the woods and kill something to do it.”

Clarke licked her lips, her eyes not being able to resist looking at Lexa. She was focused completely on Marcus’s idea for planning a community between the sky people and the woods clan. She nodded, when Marcus offered a suggestion she agreed with. Clarke watched Lexa look down at the map in front of her and point to a place on it. Marcus moved to the map as well, keeping a respectful space between them, explaining his vision.

Marcus said something that Clarke didn’t agree with so she spoke up, temporarily forgetting her conversation with Bellamy. By the time a few hours had ticked by, everyone was ready to take a break. They were to reconvene in the morning for continued planning. It seemed that building a community was going to be harder than planning a war.

Clarke lingered in the tent. Bellamy walked out with Octavia making quiet kissy noises. Clarke punched his arm as he walked past her.

“Clarke,” Lexa stated, acknowledging that Clarke was still in her tent.

Clarke licked her lips and moved around the table. She leaned back on the table in front of Lexa. She wasn’t sure how she was going to say what she wanted to say. She looked up at Lexa and couldn’t stop a smile, “Hi.”

Lexa chuckled at the sad excuse for conversation, “Hello.”

Clarke looked down, really frustrated when her lack of ability to form words. She was usually so good at it. So instead of speaking, she gestured to the door of the tent. Lexa followed Clarke outside and they walked along a trail in silence, just being around each other. She never really thought about it before, but she was so much more at ease with Lexa than she ever was with anyone else. She knew Lexa would tell her exactly what she was thinking. When she looked back, she realized that she came to Lexa for advice more than anyone else as well.

They stopped near a bonfire that had been started. Clarke sat down on a log and Lexa sat down next to her, waiting to hear what Clarke was going to tell her.

After watching the fire crackled around them for a little while and watching the sun fall behind the trees, Clarke finally looked at Lexa. She held out her hand between them.

Lexa looked from the hand to Clarke’s eyes. It took her a moment to figure out what Clarke wanted. She moved her hand, gently resting it on Clarke’s hand. Clarke slipped her fingers between Lexa’s, securely locking them in place. “I -” Clarke started. “We deserve to be happy and you… you make me happy.”

Lexa studied Clarke for a moment, watching her blonde hair glow in the light of the fire. She nodded, “You make me happy as well.”

The blonde ran the pad of her thumb along the length of Lexa’s. “How do grounders date?”

“Date?” Lexa furrowed her brow. She dug the heels of her boots into the soft earth in front of them.

“When one person is interested in another person, what do they do?” Clarke scooted a little closer to Lexa as the chilly night settled around them.

Lexa shrugged, “They make their intentions clear. Sometimes there are gifts, but they’re just…together.” Lexa tilted her head, “What else would they do? Is it different with your people?”

Clarke smiled softly, “Yeah, it’s a little different. Sometimes they go on dates. They go eat together alone or if there’s a party, they’ll go together. They’ll dance or something.”

“How many times?” the Commander asked.

Clarke never thought about it before. She didn’t know when people stopped going on dates. “They keep doing it until they move in together I guess.”

“That seems unnecessarily complicated,” Lexa looked down at their joined hands.

“I guess it is,” Clarke let out a soft smile at Lexa’s bluntness. She leaned a little closer to Lexa only realizing she was doing it when her shoulder touched Lexa’s. She sat up a little straighter so that she could focus on what she was saying, “Well your people state their intention first?”

Lexa nodded, her eyes scanning around them. Although the war was over, she was always a Commander.

“I want to be with you,” Clarke stated, the words capturing Lexa’s attention. When the dark eyes settled on her, Clarke added, “I just want to take it slow. Like this. Just – holding your hand.”

“Does this make you happy?” Lexa asked, picking up their joined hands.

Clarke nodded, “Very much.”

The Commander accepted the answered and rested their joined hands on her thigh. She leaned back a little bit and look at Clarke, “Could a date consist of two people sitting next to a fire and holding hands?”

Clarke laughed softly, finally allowing herself to lean completely into Lexa, “Definitely. This is definitely a good first date.”

Lexa looped her arm around Clarke, not letting go of her hand. With her arm around Clarke, Clarke found that she could more comfortably lean into Lexa. “My people also exchange the fur of small rodents instead of dates.”

Clarke turned her head and looked up at Lexa, slightly alarmed. The panic fell away when she saw a sly smile on Lexa’s lips. She laughed fully and pushed into Lexa, moving her free hand over her face, “That’s not funny.”

Lexa laughed with Clarke until they both settled into a comfortable quiet. Lexa held Clarke against her more firmly and rested her cheek on top of Clarke’s head. She could get used to these date things.


	3. Chapter 3

Clarke leaned back on the tree. There weren’t many casualties from the assault on Mount Weather. However, on the way home, Clarke stepped in a rabbit hole and sprained her ankle. Lexa had to help her walk all the way back to their camp. Clarke watched Lexa pace the perimeter of the circle that was dug in the ground, her wooden practice sword in her hand. Octavia walked around with a similar sword, her eyes trained on the Commander.

Clarke opened the sketchbook Lincoln gave her and started drawing. There were people around the other side of the circle watching, but Clarke was alone on her side, atop a small hill. She started drawing, thinking about what Lexa had done for her since they’d been back. There had been no pressure from Lexa about any kind of relationship. She didn’t try to kiss her again. Lexa just helped Clarke to the infirmary in the Ark, asked if she needed anything, and left.

Their interactions after they’d been back had all been initiated by Clarke. She sent a letter with Octavia to Lexa thanking her for her help and praising her bravery. She used a homemade crutch to make her way to Lexa’s command tent, bringing her some jerky that Marcus made. Lexa quickly moved to Clarke’s side to help her sit down on her bed, offering her water. They talked for hours, Clarke taking every opportunity to make Lexa smile. Then Lexa personally escorted Clarke home.

Although most of the clans had gone home, Lexa and most of the Woods clan stayed. They had developed friendships with the Sky People and those who didn’t took pity on them and their poor fighting skills so they stayed to help better prepare them for any other battles that might occur.

Octavia lunched at Lexa who easily blocked it. She attacked again and was deflected by Lexa who stood perfectly straight up with a hand behind her back. She looked hard at Octavia who swallowed under such a menacing gaze. Indra told her that the Commander would use this tactic on her. She told her that Lexa’s look could stop a heart. She just didn’t think it would affect her as much as it was. She tried to block it out. 

Octavia lunged again, this time getting her sword swatted away and her wrist caught. Her reflexes caused her to punch at Lexa who ducked the punched, delivered one of her own, and snatched the sword from Octavia’s hand. She hooked her foot behind Octavia’s and watched the other woman stumble over it backwards. When Octavia looked up, two swords were pointed at her throat.

There was a cheer around the fighting circle. Lexa dug the point of Octavia’s practice stick in the mud and offered her hand to the young warrior. “You are talented for a second. Indra has chosen well.”

“Thank you, Heda,” Octavia took her hand and allowed Lexa to pull her up.

Clarke had finished a quick sketch by the time the fight was over and wanted to show it to Lexa. She carefully hobbled down the small hill, but her foot caught a root and her hurt ankle gave. However, before she could fall, strong hands caught her by the waist.

“Perhaps you should have stayed in the infirmary,” Lexa offered with small smile. When she was sure Clarke was stable, she let go of Clarke.

Clarke smiled fully, “I did just fine making it here.”

Lexa rested her wooden sword over her shoulder and nodded, “You did.”

“Anyway,” Clarke looked down at her sketchbook. She tore out the page she was working on and folded it into fourths. “I drew this for you. It’s kinda dumb, but…don’t look at it until it’s dark, okay?”

Lexa gently took the paper from Clarke and looked at the blank side of it. She nodded and tucked the paper into the waist of her pants, “Okay.”

“Thanks,” Clarke kissed Lexa’s cheek and then hobbled away.

Lexa smiled and turned around toward the sparring session she was holding. She pointed  her wooden sword at Indra with a playful smile. Indra grinned as well. It would be the first decent fight of the day.

It was pitch dark outside when Clarke looked up at the sky from her spot on top of the cliffs overlooking the forest. It was a very careful journey for her, but when she made it, the view was worth it. She looked down at the valley, remembering thousands of grounder warriors waiting for orders before they stormed Mount Weather. Now there was nothing, but darkness. It was beautiful in a way. The starry sky above and a dark abyss below.

She looked up when she hear footsteps. The lights from the camp cast a long, dim shadow next to her. Lexa sat down next to Clarke at the edge of the cliff. Clarke smiled at her, “You came.”

“Of course,” Lexa gestured to the unfolded picture in her hand. A quick sketch of the two of them sitting in the exact places they were sitting in. Well, in the picture, Lexa was laid out on the ground propped up on her elbows. “I like this picture.”

“You can keep it,” Clarke reached into the bowl next to her and picked up a blueberry. She ate one and then offered them to Lexa. Lexa took a handful and at them a few at a time.

Lexa folded the paper up with one hand and slipped it back into her belt. “Did you not see enough of the stars when you lived in the sky?”

Clarke smiled softly and shook her head, “Not like this. There weren’t many windows and I spend the last of my time in the sky in a prison cell.”

“You were a criminal?” Lexa cocked her head, surprised.

Clarke paused and picked up a blueberry, “The laws were different up there.”

Lexa took Clarke at her word. She leaned back onto her elbows like in the picture, not realizing what she was doing until she had done it. Clarke looked over at her with a knowing smile and Lexa smiled back.

“How is your ankle?” Lexa asked.

Clarke shrugged, “Not too bad. I can walk without the crutch now.”

“Good,” Lexa finished the blueberries in her hand.

Clarke looked down at Lexa who was looking toward the forest below and not to the sky. She watched her eyes study the ground below, her mind racing through all the things the Commander worried about on a daily basis.

“Lexa?”

The Commander sat up at the serious tone in Clarke’s voice. She looked toward the blonde, only to be swept up in a kiss. She sighed into it, feeling Clarke’s hand on the back of her neck, pulling her in closer.

This time there was no premature break in the kiss. It ended gradually and naturally. Clarke rested her head on Lexa’s with a smile on her face. Lexa sat back a few inches to look at Clarke’s face and study her reaction.

Clarke saw the concern on Lexa’s eyes. She smiled brightly, “I’m ready.”

A smile grew on the Commander’s face. She moved her hand toward Clarke’s face and gently stroked her cheek. Truth be told, she would have waited a lifetime for Clarke. But she was glad she didn’t have to wait anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke walked into the tent she shared with Lexa. The little girl they rescued after a battle with the Mountain Men was sitting at the table, holding a knife. Lexa was sitting across from her teaching her how to sharpen it.

“Uh, Lexa?” Clarke asked.

Lexa looked up, questioningly.

“Why does the child have a knife?” Clarke moved to the table and took the knife out of the child’s hands. She looked up at Clarke, confused.

“She must learn how to fight,” Lexa answered.

“She’s five,” Clarke answered, “She doesn’t even know how to read.”

Lexa frowned, “The ability to read will not do her much good if she is -”

Clarke interrupted Lexa, “Lexa!” She walked over to the table and leaned down next to Lexa, speaking quietly, “I don’t want to scare her. Let’s not talk about her mortality. If you want to teach her something, teach her how to read.” Clarke kissed Lexa, “I’m going to go help out in the clinic. I’ll be back in a little while.”

Lexa sat in the chair after Clarke left and looked at the little girl, “Would you like to hear a story?”

The little girl nodded.

When Clarke returned later in the night, Lexa and the little girl were sitting in the floor surrounded by a small mountain of books. She smiled, lingering near the door because she didn’t want to disturb them. Lexa sat with her back to the wall and the little girl leaned back against her, looking at the book.

“Then, the fabled Hercules swung his sword severing the head of the mighty hydra,” Lexa read to the girl in her lap.

Clarke quickly moved in to the room, not caring if she disturbed them anymore. “Hey,” Clarke said to the little girl, “Why don’t you go see if there are any cakes left in the cafeteria?”

The smiled brightly and nodded, running out of the tent.

Clarke looked down at Lexa. Lexa peered innocently back, “Too violent?”

The blonde slowly nodded, “A little. She’s new to being a grounder. You’re going to have to give her some time before you send her out into the woods to bring you back a boar.” She offered her hands to Lexa who, instead of letting Clarke pull her up, pulled Clarke down to her.

Clarke sat between Lexa’s legs and leaned sideways on her, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s waist. “You’re sweet for trying though.”

“Don’t tell anyone,” Lexa kissed Clarke’s cheek.

Clarke grinned, “I’ll take her with me tomorrow.” She looked at Lexa and wiped some dirt off of her cheek, “You can go train someone to knife fight then.”

“You’re going to take her with you to repair wounds?” Lexa asked.

Clarke thought about Lexa’s point. “Oh right.” She chuckled at herself, “We can just let her hang out with Monty and Raven. She can build things.”

Lexa nodded, “Good idea.”

Clarke kissed Lexa again and rested her head on Lexa’s shoulder, “Do you want to go have dinner with everyone else?”

“If you wish,” Lexa held Clarke gently, but firmly.

“Can we stay here for a few minutes?” Clarke was comfortable and since the arrival of the little girl, they hadn’t had much alone time.

Lexa tucked Clarke’s head under her chin and picked up one of Clarke’s hands. She loved Clarke’s hands, her strong, scared, healing hands. “As you wish.”


	5. Chapter 5

“C’mon,” Lexa hovered over Clarke. “Say it.”

They had started meeting in an underground bunker like the one where Clarke and Bellamy had found the weapons. There were many bunkers littering the forest and they had chosen one in the middle, least likely to be found by anyone else.

Lexa had started writing on the walls of the bunker. Clarke would sneak out at night and go to the bunker to read the writings. They were poems and legends. Clarke became fascinated. Until one day she caught Lexa in the bunker, writing on the wall.

Clarke sat on the couch in the bunker listening to Lexa tell her the stories of her people. The more she listened to Lexa talk, the more she couldn’t get enough of it. She wanted to listen to everything Lexa had to say. It became intimate a few weeks ago and their meetings got more frequent. Anytime they could get away, they were in their bunker.

Lexa had given Clarke a special whistle and taught her to make it sound like a bird in the woods. They had their own code. So far no one had noticed the sounds that didn’t come from an actual bird except for Octavia who occasionally helped Clarke sneak out for her “walks”, watching the blonde walk away with a sly smile.

“Say it,” Lexa looked into the clear eyes of the princess of the sky people.

Clarke rolled her eyes and then shook her head against the pillow under her head, “I’m not calling you The Commander in bed.”

Lexa dipper her head down and kissed the side of Clarke’s neck, “You pray to your gods while I touch you, but you won’t acknowledge the one who gives you pleasure.”

Clarke closed her eyes and felt Lexa’s hand started to slip past the tops of her pants. She exhaled softly and arched into Lexa. Her hand buried itself in Lexa’s hair, “I-can you…”

“I didn’t quite hear that,” Lexa teased Clarke kissing her neck and then moving to the other side.

Clarke clenched a fistful of Lexa’s hair and sighed, “Please…Commander.”

Lexa grinned against Clarke’s neck. With a few swift moments, Clarke gasped into the empty bunker. Lexa kissed her cheek and whispered to her, “That’s more like it.”


	6. Chapter 6

It had been a long night in the infirmary. Clarke helped her mom patch up a scout team that was attacked by a bear until a few hours before the sun started to come up. Clarke slept for as long as she could, but her bunk was next to a window which was nice when she had gotten a full night of sleep, but annoying when she had only been asleep for a few hours and the sun was unrelenting in it’s quest to wake her up.

She shuffled to the outdoor mess hall hoping that the there were still grapes left over from the massive bags the scout team barely managed to bring back. That was one of her favorite things about life on earth. Grapes. She picked up a bowl and walked up to the food that was laid out in wooden bowls and metal sheets.

Monty hopped up next to her, grabbing a small breakfast roll, “Morning Clarke.”

“Where are the grapes?” Clarke whined.

“Uh, I think Bellamy got the last of them,” Monty nodded toward Bellamy who was sitting at the table with the guards.

Clarke quickly walked toward him hoping that she could bargain for a few of them, but as she got close she saw him put the last grape into his mouth.

Clarke stopped cold and groaned. “Come on.” She rubbed her eyes and looked around for something more appetizing to eat, but nothing looked good.

“Clarke of the Sky People,” Octavia walked into Camp Jaha in full grounder gear. “The Commander wants to see you.”

Clarke immediately started walking with Octavia toward the grounder camp. Lexa usually didn’t send for her. She waited for Clarke to wander to her tent on her own for them to hang out or to talk about the future of their clans. It must have been something urgent if Lexa sent someone to retrieve her.

Octavia stopped outside of the tent, her mission completely. She walked over to some other seconds sitting by a fire. Clarke moved the cloth door of the tent and stepped inside. She looked around not seeing the Commander. “Lexa?”

The flap to the small cove where Lexa’s bed was situated opened and Lexa stepped out.

Clarke caught her eyes, “Hey, what’s going o-” She stopped when she saw a large bowl of grapes on Lexa’s map table. “Oh my god you have grapes.”

Lexa tried to squash a smile, “Those are for you.”

“How did you know?” Clarke asked, moving to the table, not wasting time picking up a handful and popping them into her mouth.

“They’re your favorite,” Lexa moved to sit sideways in her throne chair. “And you were up late last night. I figured you would miss breakfast.”

Clarke swallowed the grapes in her mouth and picked up more, “Thank you so much.”

“I was sure that you were going to sleep later,” Lexa stood up and stretched her back out.

The blonde rolled her eyes, “The sun shines right in my face if I’m not out of bed before dawn.” She shook her head, “I need a curtain or something.”

“You can sleep in my bed,” Lexa shrugged, moving to the table and plucking one grape off of the vine. “I’m done using it. It is quiet and dark.”

Clarke stopped shoveling grapes into her mouth and looked up at Lexa, “Really?”

The Commander nodded like it was silly to think she would say something and not mean it. “I will make sure that it is quiet so that you can sleep.”

At first the hug seemed like an attack to Lexa, but she eased into it, knowing that Clarke would never hurt her. “Thank you so much.”

Lexa gently placed her hand on the back of Clarke’s head. She didn’t know what to say to that so she elected not to say anything.

When Clarke pulled back, she dropped a kiss on Lexa’s lips as she broke contact. It was short and sweet,  leaving the taste of grape juice on Lexa’s lips. She didn’t question any of it. She just watch Clarke pick up the bowl of grapes and take them to her bed.

Lexa closed the curtain around the bed and sat in her chair, watching over the only entrance to her bed to make sure that Clarke was not disturbed. Soon the sound of eating gave way to the sound of snoring. Lexa smiled to herself and shook her head. Of all the people on Earth, that snoring woman in her bed who fell asleep holding a bowl of grapes was by far her favorite.


	7. Chapter 7

It was late morning when Clarke made her way to the new greenhouse. She had suggested it in the aftermath of taking Mount Weather because both the Sky People and the Grounders needed to keep working together. Lexa allowed it, sending her best builders and her best farmers to help.

There was still a group of grounders going through Mount Weather, collecting their dead for the burning ceremony later in the night. Clarke had managed to get the Sky People to agree to let them do the same with their dead. As it was, they didn't really have a place for a graveyard anywhere.

As she walked, Clarke noticed that there were a few grounder warriors following her. She turned around to see what they were doing, but the two of them just stood there a few yards behind her. When she started moving again, they started moving.

She ignored them for a while, making her rounds again. Then she was tired it it. She turned around and looked at both of them, “What are you doing?”

Neither one spoke. They just stood there like cold statues. The female warrior looked Clarke dead in the eyes, but didn't move a muscle.

Clarke rolled her eyes, deciding to just ignore them. She ignored them following her into Camp Jaha to check on the wounded. She ignored them while she ate lunch with her friends. She ignored him while she watched the training of a new guard, both grounder and Sky People.

It was nearing night and it was almost time for everyone to make their way to the funeral pyre a half hours' walk away. Clarke was getting sick of being followed. She even noticed that the warriors following her were changing, like she was being watched in shifts.

The plan was for her and Lexa to lead everyone out of the camp for the ceremony so she decided to kill two birds with one stone and confront Lexa about her guards and then walk with her to the ceremony. After checking to see if her faithful spies were still there, Clarke turned around and started marching across the camp, straight into Lexa's tent. Lexa's hand went straight her to dagger at the sudden intrusion, but she moved it away.

She was dressed in full warrior garb, her face already painted. Clarke could tell that Lexa was emotionally battered. As far as Clarke knew Lexa had been alone all day, privately mourning the loss of her warriors. But Clarke knew better than to ask Lexa if she was okay.

“Clarke?” Lexa asked, wanting to know why Clarke barged into her tent.

“Oh, um,” Clarke was so shaken by the unguarded look in Lexa's eyes that she momentarily forgot why she angrily stomped in in the first place. “Did you put a tail on me?”

Lexa looked questioningly at Clarke. Then she leaned over and looked at Clarke's ass, “I see no tail.”

Clarke sighed, the anger leaving her body because of how serious and cute Lexa could be at the same time. “No I mean, did you send your guards to follow me?”

The Commander's brow furrowed, “No.” She marched to the door in a whirl of her cape. She opened it and looked outside for a moment. Then Clarke heard her bark orders. The latest two grounders who had been following her walked in, past Lexa and stood in the middle of the room.

“Why are you following Clarke?” Lexa commanded. The guards looked at each other looking uncomfortable and a little frightened. They both jumped when Lexa barked, “Speak!”

“There have been rumors of the Ice Nation wanting to attack,” the female guard swallowed thickly, her head bowed, “Clarke of the Sky People is in important part of the alliance that my people find favorable.” Her eyes rose from the ground to look at Lexa, but her head stayed bowed. “Because of what happened with...” She swallowed, “Because of what happened last time... because Clarke of the Sky People belongs to you we wanted to ensure her safety.”

Lexa's eyes flickered over to Clarke who was taking in the words and understanding all too well that they meant.

“Clarke of the Sky People is not mine,” Lexa stated in a low tone, even and rumbling. She folded her hands behind her back and took the three steps to her throne. She sat down in it, thoughtfully looking at the warriors, “However you will keep watch over her. If the Ice Nation thinks she is mine, her life is in danger.”

“Yes, Heda,” the warrior nodded.

Lexa flicked her wrist at them and they walked out. Lexa sighed softly. “I am sorry for this, Clarke.”

Clarke shook her head, leaning back on the map table, “It's not your fault.”

There was a brief pause before Lexa offered, “I thought I hid my affections better.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I had no idea until you kissed me,” Clarke offered to Lexa with a hesitant smile.

Lexa couldn't stop a smile from growing on her face. She shook her head and leaned back her chair, her Commander posture falling into that of a tired young woman who had been through hell and back in the past week. She rested her head on one of the jagged spikes that made her chair, “It will die down when I return home.”

“Return home?” Clarke asked, standing up straight and squaring up with Lexa, “You're leaving?”

Lexa picked up her head, cocking her head at Clarke. She didn't answer, instead studying Clarke.

“I don't-” Clarke's eyes fell from Lexa's hold before tentatively rejoining them, “I don't want you to.”

“Your life is in danger around me, Clarke,” Lexa sat up a little straighter.

The blonde shook her head, “I don't care. My life hasn't not been in danger since I landed on this planet. I'm not afraid.”

Lexa swallowed hard. Her jaw clenched and she could feel her hands become weak with a combination of terror and adoration. She looked away from Clarke, staring hard at the door of the tent as she confessed, “I cannot lose you too.”

Clarke looked down, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, “Then don't. Have guards follow me. Put me in a cage. Don't let me out of your sight.” Her voice shook when she added, “but don't leave.” She looked back at Lexa, seeing a curiosity in her eyes and a slight fear.

“Heda,” Indra called from outside, “It is time.”

Lexa rose from her chair and gestured for Clarke the lead the way. Their walk to the pyre was silent, the hundreds of people following them silent as well. The only sounds were of the footsteps approaching the massive pyre that was built in a dry creekbed made of rock and mud.

The leaders of all the clans including the Sky People stood around the pyre with torches. Clarke stood next to Lexa with a torch in her hand. She looked over at her mother and Marcus who both had torches. She could see Lexa staring dagger as a woman she had learned was the leader of the Ice Nation. The Ice Leader refused to look in Lexa's direction.

Lexa stood tall, moving her gaze around the mass of bodies, “Tonight we celebrate our victory and mourn our lost warriors, knowing that their spirits will guide our way to becoming stronger. Tonight we move forward as one.” Her eyes flickered to the Ice Nation leader who was still completely avoiding looking at Lexa, “Let all those who stand in our way fear us.”

There was a cheer from the crowd around the pyre.

Lexa looked over at Clarke. They shared a nod before lowing their torches, saying together, “Yu gunplei ste odon.”

The rest of the leaders repeated their words and lowered their torches, setting fire to the fallen. The torches were thrown into the fire and everyone took a step back, watching the fire grow into an inferno.

Clarke looked at Lexa, watching the fire flicker in her eyes. She bit her lip, knowing that no one was watching them.

Lexa felt something tickle the palm of her hand before Clarke's palm slid against hers, their fingers threading together. Lexa closed her eyes for a moment, her jaw clenching in conflicting emotions. She opened her eyes. Her licked her lips, finally letting her words float out on a breath, “I shall stay.”

Clarke was the only one close enough to hear the words. She nodded slowly. She didn't care that it put her life in danger. Life wasn't worth living if she didn't have the people she loved around her.  


	8. Chapter 8

Clarke looked around the halls of Mount Weather. She had expected war, but she didn’t know what the aftermath would look like. There were bodies everyone, blood on the sterile walls. She could smell the spent gunpowder in the air. She had been in charge of getting the Sky People out because she knew the layout of the mountain. Indra was in charge of moving the grounders that were too weak to move outside to Abby who was waiting with the other healers. Lexa’s only directive was to push back the Mountain Men as far as possible to give Clarke and Indra as much time as they needed.

Clarke had seen Indra and Octavia run down the hallway where Lexa had disappeared to almost half an hour ago.

The gunfire was over. The sounds of sword hitting walls and armor was gone. The battle yells were replaced with the moans of the injured.

“We have to get the injured out of here,” Clarke turned to Lincoln who had fought by her side.

Lincoln nodded. He told the grounder warriors around them to start carrying out the injured to the triage that Abby had set up outside the doors of Mount Weather. Clarke started with the bodies that were closest to the exit and started moving inward. She turned over bodies, finding some people were still alive, but barely while others had been lost in the battle.

As she moved, she got a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. She hadn’t heard from Lexa since they parted at the entrance of Mount Weather. The more grounder warriors she saw had fallen, the worse the feeling of nausea in her stomach became.

She couldn’t wait any longer. She turned to Lincoln, “I’m going to go ahead and see where the assault team is.”

Lincoln nodded, knowing exactly why Clarke wanted to go forward and knowing that he wanted to go for the same reason. “Radio back, okay?”

Clarke nodded, understanding. She slowly walked down the hallway, occasionally having to step over bodies. She rounded a corner and saw a mess of long brown hair spread out on the ground next to a motionless body. Clarke ran to the body and turned it onto it’s back. Relief coursed through her body when she saw that it wasn’t Lexa.

As she passed a smoldering mess of what looked to be a containment room, she heard yelling. It was all in trigedasleng so she didn’t understand all of it. The one word she understood was ‘heda’. “Lexa,” she breathed out and started running toward the yelling.

“Lexa!” Clarke called when she could see shadows moving down the hall.

“Clarke!” Lexa called back, “Hurry!”

Clarke ran into a large room that looked like where the Mountain Men soldiers made their last stand. She spotted Lexa struggling to hold up a bleeding grounder. Clarke quickly moved toward them and helped Lexa lay tending to the various tunnels and hallway disappearing deep into the mountain.

Clarke found that bullets were the cause of the grounder’s injuries. She felt his pulse, knowing that he didn’t have much time. She needed to get him to the surface. Clarke unhooked the radio from her belt and radioed to Lincoln to bring someone to get him. Lincoln and another warrior arrived, easily carrying Lexa’s guard away.

The blonde finally allowed herself a moment to breath. She looked over at Lexa who had taken out her sword. Lexa clenched her jaw when Clarke looked at her, “Don’t move.”

Clarke froze in place. She could practically feel the weapon pointed at her back.

In one swift motion, Lexa grabbed Clarke’s jacket with her left hand, pulling her down and behind herself. In the same motion she swung her sword powerfully in a downward motion, then quick from left to right. A grounder with a knife in his hand fell to the ground.

Clarke got up onto her feet, “Thanks. I should have looked before I came in here.”

Lext turned around, Clarke finally getting a good look at her. There was blood smeared all over Lexa’s face from the soldiers she had slayed. A slight smiled turned the corners of her lips up, “I’m glad you’re alright.”

Clarke nodded. She looked Lexa over, “I’m glad you are t-” At that moment she saw that Lexa was in fact, not alright. There was blood starting to soak into Lexa’s clothes. She deep crimson spot patch of material was growing darker. When Clarke’s eyes moved up to Lexa’s face, she saw the Commander waiver. Clarke immediately grabbed onto Lexa, keeping her upright. She looked around for some kind of help, “Indra! Octavia!”

Lexa regained a little bit of her strength as Indra and Octavia bounded into the room, swords out and ready to fight. Indra was the first to quickly assess the situation, “Heda!” She ran to Lexa’s other side and put Lexa’s arm around her shoulders. There was no discussion as they started moving out of the complex.

“I’m fi-fine,” Lexa breathed out.

“You’re not fine,” Clarke quickly moved through the halls and over the bodies, “You got stabbed.”

“I’ve had worse,” Lexa’s head lulled a little as she spoke.

Indra looked at Octavia who came running up behind her, “It was the Ice Nation.” She offered a small pendant to Indra.

“Traitors,” Indra growled.

Lexa lost consciousness just before they burst out of the door atop Mount Weather. Clarke started frantically looking around, “Mom! Mom!”

The second Abby heard her daughter screaming her name, she looked around. She found Clarke laying Lexa down in the grass just outside of the door. She ran to her daughter who was doing untying Lexa’s armor so that Abby could get at Lexa. Abby started to work on Lexa so Clarke stood up. There was fire in her eyes when she spoke to Indra, “I want the leader of the Ice Nation here  _right now_.”

Normally, such talk from Clarke would have offended Indra, but she was just as angry as Clarke was. She could see that whatever Clarke wanted to do to the Ice Nation leader was going to be much, much worse than what she would have done herself.

Indra nodded and stalked off, telling all of her warriors that the Ice Nation leader was to be taken to Clarke.

When the blind rage faded, Clarke was left in the overwhelming terror that Lexa was going to die. She knelt down next to her and watched her mother’s hand, coated in Lexa’s blood try to save her.

“Talk to her,” Abby gently coached her daughter. “Hold her hand and talk to her. This is going to hurt.” Abby turned to her assistant, a grounder healer who had taken to following Abby around. She asked for a medical kit and some cloth.

“Lexa,” Clarke leaned down close to Lexa’s face. “Lex. You know that I can’t lose you too. Okay? So you have to stay with me. You have to. You’re too strong to die like this.” Clarke shook her head, tears welling up in your eyes, “I still need you. Your people need you.” Clarke sat on the grass next to Lexa, the Commander’s hand clutched tightly in both of her hands, “Your spirit needs to stay where it is, okay?”

“We have to move her now, Clarke,” Abby wiped her hands off on a piece of cloth.

Clarke nodded slowly. She finally looked down at Lexa’s abdomen and saw that her mom had already put a bandage over it.

Abby made her sure hands were clean before she reached over and touched Clarke’s face, “She’ll be fine. She just needs a little while to recover.”

Clarke called over two grounders and had Lexa moved to the mobile commander center that had been set up at the top of a hill adjacent to Mount Weather. Clarke went with her and sat next to the makeshift bed made of furs. The jostling woke Lexa, who groaned and tried to sit up. Clarke was quick to stop her, “No. Don’t move.”

“I was attacked,” Lexa laid back down, but looked around her temporary tent. She started to sit up again.

“Lexa,” Clarke firmly stated then immediately softened, “Please don’t move.”

Lexa sighed softly and laid down. “Who was it?”

“The Ice Nation,” Clarke answered, “Indra is going to bring me their leader.” She took the knife from Lexa’s holster. “And they’re going to pay.”

Lexa looked down at herself, “Where is my armor?”

Clarke gestured to the pile of it in the doorway. “Why?” Lexa sat up slowly, moving toward the door. Clarke moved to her side, “What are you doing?”

When Lexa reached down for her armor, she winced, stopping short. Clarke bend down and scooped it up, “You can’t fight.”

“I don’t need to fight,” Lexa took the armor from Clarke. She struggled to put it on until Clarke decided to just help her.

The blonde moved around Lexa and buckled her pauldron. She straightened out Lexa’s cape and looked at her face. “Do you feel okay?”

“I’m fine,” Lexa insisted. She moved around Clarke and walked out the door of the tent. Clarke was quick to follow and saw Lexa looking into the small valley where the wounded were being treated. Clarke saw Lexa swallow hard.

A few people saw Lexa and smiles came to their faces. The whispers started to circulate. The Commander was okay.

Clarke understood why Lexa needed to be seen. The people were starting to move a little quicker. The wounded faces had a little more hope. She looked over at Lexa, “What are we going to do about the Ice Nation?”

Lexa’s eyes darkened. Her jaw set. Then her eyes turned to Clarke, “What were you going to do?”

Clarke pulled the knife that she took from Lexa out of her back of her belt. She turned it over in her hand. Then she took the blade between her fingers, handing it over to Lexa, “It’s up to you.”

“No,” Lexa put her hand on the handle of her sword, “You decide.“ She turned around and walked inside the tent.

It took Clarke a minute to follow Lexa inside. She found Lexa sitting on her throne that she made the journey because it was ceremonial for it to go where Lexa did in times of war. Clarke moved to the platform it was sitting on and rested her forearms on her knees, facing away from Lexa, “I wasn’t thinking clearly when I told Indra to bring the Ice Nation leader to me.”

“What were you going to do?” Lexa asked, sitting up straight so the stitches holding her together wouldn’t strain.

Clarke shook her head, “I was going to kill her.” She looked over her shoulder at Lexa. She saw Lexa looking at her. “I thought she had you killed.”

“She tried,” Lexa pointed out, inhaling, “She tried to have you killed as well.”

The blonde shook her head, “Why? We beat the Mountain Men.”

“That’s why,” Lexa squared her shoulders, “We beat the Mountain Men. They kill you and me the alliance does not have a leader anymore. It will fall apart or it will find a new leader from the Ice Nation.” Lexa looked toward the door, “It was a power play I should have seen coming.”

Indra opened the door to the tent and shoved a woman into the room. She fell down onto the ground near Clarke’s feet with a maniacal smile on her face. She chuckled, rolling into her side. Her hands were bound with rope. She sat up on her knees and looked at Lexa. “Heda,” she snarled.

“You tried to have me killed,” Lexa stated, holding the woman’s eyes.

The woman shrugged, “I tried to have her killed.” She jerked her head toward Clarke. She swayed a little bit. She leaned forward and whispered loudly to Lexa, “She hasn’t been around long enough to know your secrets yet.”

The Ice Nation leader, fell to the ground after being pistol whipped by the only blonde in the room. Clarke pointed the gun at the woman’s head, “Don’t talk to your Commander like that.”

“She’s not  _my_  Commander, girl,” the woman rolled onto her back. She got onto her knees and then lunged at Clarke.

Clarke hit her again, the woman falling to the side.

“Enough,” Lexa calmly sat on her throne. She turned to Indra, “Go find her a tree.”

“What?” the woman asked, “We’re done already.” Her eyes were getting panicky. “It’s cute how you have your new pet do your work for you.” The woman looked down and stood, “Of course I don’t think she would have held up until questioning as long as Costia.” The woman shook her head, “She was so brave.”

A gunshot rang out in the tent. No one flinched except for the person who fired the shot. Clarke put the safety on her gun and looked at the woman now writhing around on the ground, a bullet lodged in her knee. Clarke’s face was hard, “Get her out of here.”

Indra walked in, roughly grabbing the woman by her tied wrists. As she was drug away, she thrashed around. “No! No!”

Clarke tucked her gun away when she and Lexa were alone. Clarke shook her head at the floor, not wanting to look at Lexa’s face, “I’m sorry.”

“She wanted to make us angry so we would kill her before her punishment,” Lexa stated.

“I know,” Clarke finally looked at Lexa who was looking back at her. She held Lexa’s eyes, “I didn’t – she threw Costia in your face.”

Lexa nodded, “And for that she will pay.” Lexa stood from her chair and walked over to a chest that was already open. She dug around in side of it, pulling out a familiar looking frosted glass bottle. She retrieved two cups are well, pouring a healthy amount of the clear liquor into each.

Clarke accepted a cup when Lexa handed it to her, “We did well, Clarke.” Lexa offered to cup to Clarke who gently tapped her glass against it. They watched each other drink before discarding their cups back into the chest.

“We must go now,” Lexa stated. She started walking out before Clarke caught her arm. She found herself enveloped into a hug before she could reach the door.

Lexa wasn’t used to the kind of contact Clarke was offering her, but she placed her hands on Clarke’s back, settling into a content warmth the came with being that close to Clarke. She took a moment to let all of her emotions out if only for a moment because the second they moved outside of the tent, she had to be the Commander again.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Clarke closed her eyes, absolutely loving the feeling of Lexa breathing under her arms because she was still breathing. “I was so scared.”

Lexa smiled softly, moving her hand to cradle the back of Clarke’s head, “I will stay alive only so that you will never be frightened again.”

Clarke grinned. She pulled away from Lexa, looking her over. She gave Lexa a nod, indicating that she was ready to go back and face their people. She moved the flap over the door to the side so that Lexa could go out before her, back into the world and back into the aftermath of the war they won together.


	9. Chapter 9

There was a deal.

She was offered a deal and instead of taking it, she killed the man who offered it to her. Her warriors thought it was because it wasn't a trustworthy deal and the Commander had always been one to protect her people over everything else.

Then people died. Hundreds of ground warriors sacrificed themselves because Lexa asked them too.

The quiet ride back to the camp was almost too much for Lexa. She rode her horse, slowly along the trail. She should not be called a leader anymore. She should be called a traitor. She put her interests above those of her people. She wanted to be a hero to Clarke. She wanted to see her happy.

Cage had killed some of Clarke's people before shooting himself, but most of them made it out okay.

Lexa herself was shot twice, but Abby saved her life. Had she been a coward she might have begged Abby to let her die. But her punishment was that she live with the trade she made for the rest of her life. Clarke was happy, but the cost was too high.

Lexa could hear Clarke talking. She could hear the story of how bravely Lexa and her people stormed the mountain. She could hear the battle stories. She could hear the sky people talking dreamily about the warriors that had saved them. It was like being shot all over again.

Next to her, walking next to the horse, she could see Lincoln trudging along, head bowed. Indra's team never made it back out of the mountain, including Octavia. The ones that weren't gunned down were ripped apart by reapers. Indra was the closes thing Lexa had to family. Tears sprang to Lexa's eyes, but she couldn't let them out. She blinked them away as a Commander should.

When they got to the Sky People camp, Lexa stopped her horse, but didn't get off. The only person that stopped before entering the camp was Clarke. Clarke looked up at Lexa and could see a profound sadness. She knew that Lexa had lost a lot of people.

Clarke offered her hand to Lexa to help her down. Lexa reluctantly took it and dismounted her horse.

“When are we going to Polis?” Clarke asked. She didn't let go of Lexa's hand until it was clear that Lexa didn't want to hold hands.

Lexa bowed her head, seemingly unable to hold it up on her own, “Tomorrow. We must rest first.”

Clarke joined Lexa in her tent. Lexa was quiet and when Clarke tried to talk it was all assurance that they did what they needed to do. But Lexa knew it wasn't what she should have done. She should have spared her people and sacrificed herself. It seemed that she was not destined to be happy in any scenario.

Lexa finally laid down in her bed, not able to stand up any longer. When Clarke gently helped Lexa out of her armor so that she could lay more comfortably, the tears started slowly trickling out of Lexa's eyes.

Clarke saw Lexa's tears in the dying daylight and placed her hand on Lexa's stomach. She could feel the bandage she her mother had put on Lexa after the battle over Lexa's shirt. She used her other hand to stroke Lexa's hair telling her that her people were brave and that they did the right thing which push a dagger deeper into Lexa's hard. She didn't deserve Clarke's assurances. She didn't deserve Clarke to touch her so tenderly.

When Clarke kissed her, Lexa had never hated herself more. She hated that she loved the feeling of Clarke's lips on hers. She hated that when Clarke held her it was the safest she'd ever felt in her life. She hated what she had done to get all those things.

Clarke fell asleep in Lexa's bed, tangled up in the Commander. However, Lexa could not sleep and just before dawn, Lexa slipped from the bed. She gathered her armor, carefully and silently putting it back on. Then she woke her guards. She mounted her horse and rode away from the camp, back to Polis. She didn't deserve Clarke anymore. Before she had been honorable and someone that Clarke should be proud to have the affections of. But after what she did, Lexa knew she didn't deserve Clarke. She didn't deserve anyone.  


	10. Who is Santa and why is he bringing you gifts?!

Clarke grabbed Lexa’s wrist that was going for her sword. “Hey, it’s just…it’s something we tell kids okay? If you’re good Santa brings you presents on Christmas.”

Lexa stopped moving and frowned, “And they believe you?”

“Yeah,” Clarke let go of Lexa’s wrist and took her hand. 

Lexa laid back on the bed, “Is he coming this year? For your children?”

“I don’t know,” Clarke shook her head, “I don’t think so. The Sky People are just now learning to survive. There isn’t anything left for gifts.”

Before she could stop her, Lexa got out of the bed and picked up her pants from the ground. 

“Where are you going?” Clarke asked. 

“What does Santa look like?” Lexa asked, moving to her dresser to get a shirt. 

Clarke sat up, covering herself up with the sheet. “Red suit, white beard, kind big…what are you doing?”

Lexa pulled her shirt on and called a guard in. Clarke pulled a blanket up over herself as he stepped in. “Big like that?”

Clarke slowly nodded from behind the blanket. “Lexa, what is going on?”

Lexa gave the guard clipped orders in Trigdasleng and followed him out the door, “Christmas.”


	11. Lincoln picked Octavia up grabbing her thighs and pushing her until she could reach the top of the tree and put star-shapped metal thing Raven had made on it.

“A little to the right,” Octavia had to reach as far as her arm would go and still couldn’t get it. 

Lincoln looked down, set Octavia on his shoulders and carefully stepped to the right around the presents wrapped in leaves, colored pulp papers, and animal hides. He locked his arms around Octavia’s shins so she wouldn’t fall. 

Lexa was in the corner, trying to tie a bow on a present with glitter dusted rope. 

“Be careful with that,” Raven stepped into the room, pointing to Lexa, “That glitter is metal shavings.”

Lexa frowned, but resumed trying to tie up Clarke’s slightly dangerous present. She looked up at Raven, “Why do we have to wait to give presents?”

“It’s a tradition,” Raven shrugged taking a large drink of her spiked and grounderfied eggnog, “Like this gross stuff you drink.”

Lexa lifted her hand and Raven put the glass in it. Lexa took a sip and then choked. She covered her mouth to keep from spewing it everywhere, “What is in that?”

“Moonshine,” Raven grinned. She took her cup back and took a long drink. “Your grounder nog needed a little kick.”

“Just keep Clarke away from it,” Octavia finally got the star on top of the tree. She sat back on Lincoln’s shoulders and admired the way the metal gleamed in the firelight. 

Then she reached over her head and grabbed onto a wooden beam that ran the length of the long room. She pulled herself off of Lincoln’s shoulders and dropped in front of him. He started to try to catch her, but remembered that she was the most capable person he’d ever met. 

“I have to go get your present,” Octavia pushed up on her toes to kiss Lincoln, “I’ll be right back.” She took his knife out of his belt and turned around to leave.

“Are you going to kill my present?” Lincoln asked, watching Octavia saunter out.

She smirked over her shoulder at him and walked out. 

Raven looked at Lincoln watching Octavia walk out and rolled her eyes. He left out of a different door a few seconds later, mumbling something about Octavia’s present. 

Not a minute later, Clarke called to Lexa from down the hall. Lexa swiftly stood and quickly moved out the door toward her voice. 

Raven shook her head and made a whipping sound before drinking more of her moonshine grounder nog. 

A gentle hand touched the small of her back and not a second later she knew who it was. She felt the hand move up her back, then back down, and around her waist. Soft kisses were placed on her neck as her eyes fluttered closed, “Merry Christmas, Raven.”

She sighed softly and leaned lazily into the body behind her, “Merry Christmas.”


	12. No, we are not putting the tree up yet.

Lexa sat back on her bed, watching Clarke flitter around the room, “But why does it go inside? Why do you have to kill it?”

“I don’t kill - well you kind of do, but…it’s a tradition,” Clarke turned around, looking at Lexa while she tied together the colorful paper she found deep in the basement of Lexa’s home in Polis.

Lexa tilted her head, “And you decorate the dead tree?”

“You know it sounds really bad when you say it like that,” Clarke smiled, “But, a great part of Christmas is exchanging presents.”

“That sounds nice,” Lexa agreed, “What would you like to receive? You can have anything you desire.”

Clarke loved it when Lexa got sentimental because it meant that even the greatest leaders could have hearts. She moved to the bed and straddled Lexa’s lap, “I just want to spend the whole day with you.”

Lexa smiled and looked up at her Sky Goddess. “I can do that.”

Clarke dipped her head down and kissed Lexa, “Good. Now let’s decorate the dead tree.”


	13. Lexa get back here I'm cold

Lexa stopped tying the leather cuff on her arm. She looked over her shoulder at Clarke. She was laying on her side, facing away from her. Clarke’s back was exposed, smooth and stronger than Lexa had remembered. 

Lexa smiled to herself. Her night with Clarke had been one of the most incredible in her life. She didn’t want to leave, but there were more pressing needs than Clarke’s comfort. 

However, she finished tying off the cuff and moved to the bed. She gently sat down and ran her fingers up Clarke’s spine, “I cannot stay. I must go speak to the council.” 

Clarke pushed herself up off of the bed, “It’s just a…tribunal?”

Lexa nodded. She pushed Clarke’s hair out of her face. 

“And it’s not a big deal?” Clarke searched Lexa’s face for the truth. She had grilled Lexa about the ceremony earlier, but she felt like there was something Lexa wasn’t saying.

Lexa paused. She looked over Clarke’s face. She caught her eyes. She didn’t want to worry Clarke so she forced a smile, “It’ll be fine.” 

“Good luck,” Clarke kissed Lexa. “I’ll get dressed and when you get back I can show you that bunker I found.”

Lexa nodded. “Okay.” But she wasn’t so sure that if she made it back, she would be in any shape to hike. 

On her way out of the tent, Lexa picked up a pair of swords that had belonged to Anya. They had always brought her luck and she knew that she needed all the luck she could get. 


	14. Clarke fell in love with the new girl. You should see it O, she keeps crashing into walls every time Lexa is around.

“Pathetic,” Octavia answered in the earbud that was tucked into Raven’s ear, “What is she? New sales rep?”

“Something a little higher,” Raven twirled a pen between her fingers, “I have to fix the ethernet port in her office later so I’ll find out.”

“Find out if she’s into girls,” Octavia excitedly answered, “Clarke needs to go on a date soon.”

Raven leaned back on the desk she had been pretending to work at while spying on Clarke and the new woman in the office, “No shit. But I can’t exactly find out if she’s into women by her computer ports though.” 

“Get your feet off my desk,” Clarke hit Raven’s feet with a folder. 

Raven smiled and stood up, “So, Clarke are you free…Thursday?”

“I’m not going to karaoke with you and Octavia,” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“So you are free,” Raven turned around, “Just asking for a friend…well future friend.”


	15. "i can imagine it, commander would you be my houmon, check yes/no

“Shut up,” Clarke punched Octavia’s shoulder, “Just go ask her.”

“Ask who what?” Raven walked up, eating some berries out of a bowl.

“Oh god,” Clarke dropped her head in her hands.

Octavia looked over her shoulder at Raven, “She wants me to ask Lexa if the Commander is allowed to go on dates.”

“Awww,” Raven slapped her hand to her chest, “Clarke has a crush.”

“I hate both of you,” Clarke stalked off toward her tent.


	16. Clarke, why are you running?

Clarke stopped her mid-morning jog and stood in front of Lexa. She smiled, “I’m jogging.”

“What are you running from though?” Lexa looked around, a knife in her hand. 

“Nothing,” Clarke put her hands on her hips, “I do it to stay in shape.”

“What shape?” Lexa furrowed her brow, “You have a great shape.”

Clarke blushed, but grinned, “Thank you. What do you do to stay in…your shape?”

“I eat food,” Lexa was curious about the conversation happening and tilted her head, “And War.”

 


	17. Uh I'm sorry?

“You shot me!” Clarke looked at her bleeding arm.

Lexa didn’t want to point out to Clarke that her arrow had just grazed her arm, or that the arrow the grazed her arm, speared a snake that was about to bite her. “I’m sorry.” She tilted her head, “Why are you in the woods by yourself? It’s dangerous.”

“So far you’re the only one that’s hurt me,” Clarke snapped, using her shirt sleeve to dab at the blood.

Lexa was taken aback. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before finally saying, “There’s a village that way,” she pointed, “If you need anything.” She nodded to herself, “I’ll…just go.”


	18. I don't know how you can still be angry at Lexa, look at her holding that baby bunny Clarke!

“First of all, that bunny is not a baby,” Clarke crossed her arms as she continued to watch Lexa from across the camp, “Second of all, it’s dead. She killed it for food.”

“Oh,” Raven shrugged and tapped her wrench on the water pump she was trying to fix, “She’s still cute.”

Clarke’s head snapped toward Raven, “What do you mean? Do you like her?”

Raven laughed, “Not as much as you do, you six-year-old. We all have to do some fucked up shit to stay alive down here. You already said you’ve forgiven her so go talk to her or pass her a note with hearts all over it. That seems more your speed.”


	19. Abby is really supportive of Clarke and the Commander

“Mom?” Clarke stepped into her mom’s tent, a worried look on her face.

Abby looked up from a book and smile, “Hey, honey.” She was reclined on her bed and patted the side of it, “What’s wrong?”

“I have a question,” Clarke moved to her mom’s bed, “A problem kind of.”

Abby closed her book and sat up a little straighter, “Are you having problems negotiating for the garden? I asked Indra-”

“No,” Clarke interrupted her mom, “It’s an actually really normal and age appropriate thing.” She looked at her hands on her lap. 

“Oh wow,” Abby poked her daughter’s side, “This is a first. I hope I remember how to do this.”

Clarke smiled despite her worry. She looked toward her mother, “It’s about Lexa.” 

Abby nodded encouraging her daughter to go on.

“I…before…everything, Mount Weather and….my…vacation,” Clarke sighed softly, “She kissed me.” Clarke swallowed, “And I…can’t stop thinking about it.”

There was a pause and Abby hummed. “In a good way?”

Clarke nodded, “I think…I mean, I know I like her. It’s just that since we’ve started spending time together again, she keeps being weird about things. She won’t meet with me unless there are at least three other people there and she won’t talk about anything that doesn’t have to do with the new town.” Clarke sighed heavily, “I think she was vulnerable for the first time since the Ice Queen killed her last girlfriend and she’s…scared. When she kissed me, I wasn’t ready, but….”

Abby pushed some of Clarke’s heavily braided hair away from her face, “Are you ready now?”

Clarke nodded again.

Abby smiled, “Since the Ice Queen has been dealt with, I think that maybe you should tell her how you feel.”

“How can I do that when she won’t be alone with me?” Clarke looked down at her hands again.

“I feel like this could be an abuse of my power, but,” Abby put her hand on Clarke’s, “But I’ll request a meeting and instead of me showing up, you can be there.”

A smile crossed Clarke’s face, “Thanks, mom.”

Abby sat up and kissed Clarke’s forehead, “You deserve some happiness. If the Commander can give it to you, I’m happy for you.”


	20. You married my girlfriend!?

“You were gone and she’s not really your girlfriend and it was kind of an accident,” Raven rattled off while keeping a safe distance away from a very feral looking Clarke. “Also it was me or Bellamy so…”

Clarke lowered her knife. She blinked and her rage turned to sadness in a second. “I’m…sorry.”

“It’s cool,” Raven opened her arms to Clarke. “Welcome home, you little grounderling you.”

Clarke smiled despite her feelings of despair and hugged Raven. “I’m not a grounder. I’m just a second.”

“Maybe you can be Lexa’s second,” Raven offered, “I can do stuff like that now. The grounders do whatever I say. I did have to get a tattoo, but it’s tasteful I think.” She lifted up her sleeve and showed Clarke her tattoo that was identical to Lexa’s. 

It just made Clarke feel that much more alienated from the life she used to have. 

“Does it make you feel better that Lexa said I could have an affair?” Raven offered, hopefully. “She just said I have to be discreet which I totally have to be since I’m married to the leader of one people and I’m sleeping with the other.”

Clarke cocked her head and wrinkled her nose, “You and…Bellamy?’

“Ew no.” 

“Marcus?” Clarke asked, narrowing her eyes. 

“That’s just…Clarke please. That is disgusting.” Then Raven’s eyes widened when she realized just who she was talking to about her secret relationship with the chancellor of the Sky People. “On that note, I have to go do Commander type things over…there.”

Raven took off running and Clarke followed brandishing her knife and yelling things in Trigedasleng that made some of the other warriors standing near, blush. 

“Heda!” Raven yelled as she ran through the joint Sky People and Grounder village. “Abby!” Clarke was faster than she remembered and Raven was having trouble ducking the knife swipes that were aimed at her back. 

Lexa was the first one out of the meeting tent, her sword drawn. “Raven?”

Raven slid around Lexa to stand behind her just as Abby stepped out of the tent. “She’s fucking lost her mind.”

The streak of blonde hair behind Raven slid to a stop. Before Lexa saw who it was, she pointed her sword at the warrior while pushing Raven protectively behind her. 

When she saw it was Clarke, Abby had already started moving toward her. Abby’s steps were slow and careful. Tears filled her eyes as she saw her daughter for the first time in months. “Clarke.” 

Clarke looked over her mother’s face and forgot all about her anger. She put her knife away and approached her mother carefully. When Abby saw Clarke move toward her, she pulled Clarke into her arms. 

Lexa felt hands on her sides and a concerned whisper in her ear. “You okay?’

Lexa nodded. She turned around, “Send the undisciplined gona into my tent for punishment when she is done with her mother.” Her voice was cold and her eyes weren’t completely focused on Raven. “She cannot attack the houmon heda. Especially as a second.”

“How did you know she was a second?” Raven asked, stepping to the side to stop Lexa from walking into her tent. 

Lexa gestured over her shoulder, “Her markings. They’re of the Trigeda,” With that, Lexa moved around Raven to walk inside, “Please join us when she comes in. Bring the Chancellor as well.”

Raven nodded watching Lexa disappear inside. She waited for Abby and Clarke to finish greeting each other before informing them that they had been summonded. 

Lexa was sitting on her throne when the Arker women walked into the tent. She was staring hard at the ground and gestured to the smaller throne on her right. Raven knew that was her place and during formal meetings that was where she was to sit. 

“You attacked my wife, gona,” Lexa stated, looking right at Clarke like she was any other faceless grounder. She paused, waiting for Raven. She chivalrously stood and offered her hand to Raven who was stepping up on the platform their thrones were on. Once Raven was seated, Lexa sat, “What do you have to say for yourself?”

Clarke seemed to be at a loss, “I…I’m sorry, heda.” She slipped back into the role of a grounder second. She bowed her head, “I…” She turned to look at Raven, “I’m sorry. Everything is just a…surprise.”

Raven knew that in formal things like this there was always someone listening so she leaned over and whispered to Lexa behind her hand. 

Lexa nodded and leveled her chin, “The houmon heda has asked for you to spend your punishment here. You will work in the Skaikru clinic for a week.”

Clarke met Raven’s eyes and nodded, “Thank you, Heda.”

“You can start now,” Raven replied. “Then, uh, check in with the heda after dinner.”

Clarke understood that Lexa needed some time. She swallowed and bowed her head against, “Yes, Heda.”

“Thank you,” Abby mouthed to her girlfriend on the throne. 

Raven shot her a smile and watched the pair of Griffins walk out. 

Raven turned to Lexa who was already looking at her. Lexa gave her a weak smile, “You’re a good leader.”

“Maybe,” Raven shrugged, “You okay?”

“Not yet,” Lexa answered. “I’m glad you asked her to wait. I don’t know what…”

Raven stood up and offered her hand to Lexa to help her off her throne, “We can go have lunch in our tent. Well talk about it.”

* * *

 

"You know when she was trying to kill me, she called you her girlfriend."

Lexa stopped mid-bite. She put her fork down in her bowl and looked at Raven, “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you got drunk once, got into the wrong bed and called me Clarke,” Raven answered, not pausing her words to keep eating. “I may be the most ineffective queen in grounder history, but I’m not an idiot.”

“You’re not a queen,” Lexa stated, picking her fork up again and stirred around her food.

Raven shrugged, “Whatever.” She took another bite, “But here’s the deal. You are going to talk to Clarke. You’re going to hear her out because of the shit you pulled at Mount Weather.” Lexa’s head snapped up and she opened her mouth to speak, but Raven kept railroading on, “I know you did what you had to do for your people. Just like I married you for my people, but from a Sky Person perspective it was shitty.”

Lexa nodded, lowering her head again. 

“Then,” Raven went on, “You’re going to tell her that you sent teams of scouts out to look for her without telling anyone and that you talk to her in your sleep. You’re gonna tell her that sometimes you cry at night because being the Commander is so goddamn hard.” Raven was trying not to get emotional, but she had seen the best and the worst of the woman in front of her and seeing Lexa break in the privacy of the night, only to patch herself back up again so she could lead her people was one of the most devastating things Raven had ever seen. “You’re going to tell her that sometimes when Abby is talking you rush into the tent because you think it’s Clarke.” 

“I can’t tell her any of that,” Lexa’s voice cracked when she spoke. 

Raven put her food aside and pulled her chair around to Lexa’s side of the table. She sat right in front of Lexa and leaned forward so Lexa had to look at her. Raven knew that Lexa was younger, but the way Lexa was looking up at her through her lashes, scared and sad, she looked way younger. 

Raven swallowed and blinked away tears, “You are the Commander. You’re strong and brilliant. But you’re also Lexa. Lexa is sweet and remembers my favorite foods and switches our pillows sometimes because I hate the fluffy one. The Commander listens to the needs of her people, but Lexa plays with the children when their teams are uneven.” Raven rested her elbows on her knees and caught Lexa’s eyes, “The Commander only needs the respect of her people. Lexa wants -”

“I know what I want,” Lexa waved her hand and stood up from the table. She shook her head, “I stopped being Lexa the day I became the Commander.” She crossed her arms and turned away from Raven, “I can’t be her again.”

“Look,” Raven looked up at Lexa. She slowly stood. Her steps toward Lexa were careful and measured. “I’m not saying that you have to get with Clarke. I am saying that you need to give yourself the chance to be happy. Maybe it’s just one kiss. But I can tell you that one kiss can change everything.”

“Commander?” Clarke called before she opened the door to the tent. 

She found Lexa just how she had been for the past few hours after Raven went to help repair some Sky People thing that Lexa found frivolous. In Lexa’s hand though, was a piece of the Ark. 

“This had been in space,” Lexa presented the jagged metal piece of Ark to Clarke. “This was part of something that lived among the stars.” 

Clarke wasn’t sure what Lexa was saying or what it had to do with anything, but she listened. 

Lexa shook her head, “It doesn’t make sense. Hundreds of people fell from the sky.” She looked at the piece in her hand, “You fell from the sky, Clarke.”

Clarke nodded, “I did.”

“You understand that you cannot kill Raven,” Lexa stated more than asked.

“I do,” Clarke nodded again, “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have.” 

“Warriors control themselves.”

“Yes, Heda.”

“Warriors think things through.”

“Yes, Heda.”

“Warriors understand that…their actions have consequences and they must be prepared to deal with those consequences, no matter how much…. no matter how much they wish things might have turned out differently.”

Clarke moved deeper into the tent. “I understand. Warriors do what is best for their people. They sacrifice themselves and their happiness for the protection of their people.”

Lexa closed her eyes and nodded slowly. Then she looked at Clarke. “I’m glad you have chosen to become a second, Clarke. You will be the best leader this world has ever seen.”

“Can I…speak to you as…Lexa?” Clarke was hesitant to ask. She wasn’t sure where she stood with Lexa. Her biggest fear was that Lexa would see Clarke abandoning her own people as cowardice and lose all interest in her. “And not the Commander.”

There was a pause where Lexa just held Clarke’s eyes, but she nodded again. 

“I blamed you for so much that I shouldn’t have,” Clarke looked around then tent as she spoke. She felt relief in her chest upon seeing two different beds, one of which had a pair of Ark-made boots at the end of it. “Then I blamed me.” Clarke licked her lips and looked back at Lexa, seeing she had a rapt audience. “I spent two months wandering around the forest, trying to figure out which one of us I should blame, when it’s really just…we did what was best for our people.” Clarke shrugged, “It doesn’t mean that I don’t see Mountain Men in my sleep. It doesn’t mean that sometimes I catch a smell that reminds me of the inside of Mount Weather and the next thing I know I’m underwater because I started running and I don’t know how to stop.” Tears filled Clarke’s eyes and she sniffled them back. 

Lexa furrowed her brow. She stood from her throne, stepping off the platform. She wasn’t sure what she should do. She slowly reached her hand toward Clarke and took her hand, “I thought I’d finally found someone who would understand how it felt to be the kind of leader I have to be.” She gently squeezed Clarke’s hand when tears started to make tracks down Clarke’s face, “And even better, I thought I had found someone who wanted to understand me.” Lexa shook her head at herself, “Raven is right. I’m alone at the top, but I had hoped that you were someone who would stand next to me.” Lexa flashed a tense, but sad smile for the briefest of moments. Then she dropped Clarke’s hand and turned away. 

“Lexa…” Clarke’s voice cracked when she called to the Commander.

Lexa paused before turning around. She could feel the emotions swell in her chest and start to crawl up her throat. She didn’t want her eyes to start watering from the surging tide. But when Clarke called her again, she turned around and saw that Clarke was right behind her. 

The blonde slid her arms around Lexa’s shoulders and pulled her close, holding Lexa against her body. Lexa crossed her arms behind Clarke’s back and held on tight, tears spilling out of her eyes. 

“I lost my heart the night I had to leave you,” Lexa whispered into Clarke’s hair.

Clarke could only manage a nod.

The tears were silent, but both women felt each tear drop like an earthquake. They were strong, stoic leaders. But underneath the Commander and The Sky Princess, they were fractured. They were broken pieces - the product of harsh circumstances and hardship. They were wounded and bruised. But underneath the Commander and the Sky Princess, they were safe to build each other back up into something stronger. Underneath the Commander and the Sky Princess, they were Lexa and Clarke. 

* * *

 

 


	21. What do you think would happen if you kill me Clarke? Do you think the next Commander to be better for your people than me? Do you think they'll not listen to the screams for revenge from my people? Kill me Clarke, and see how well the Skaikru will fare.

Lexa felt the blade against her neck quiver. The chest pressed against her back rose and fell rapidly three times before she spoke again, “You cannot kill me Clarke.”

“I want to,” Clarke’s voice shook as tears clouded her eyes. 

Lexa reached up and took Clarke’s wrist firmly in her hand. Clarke’s arm seemed to go limp. Lexa held it to her neck, her eyes moving to her enraged guards that were standing at the door, arrows ready to fly at Clarke should they get a decent shot. “Leave us.”

“Heda?” one of them asked softly.

Lexa narrowed her eyes which send the two guards scuttling out the door.

The second the were gone, Lexa lowered Clarke’s arm. She wrapped her fingers around the handle of the knife Clarke was holding. Lexa had taken great care not to look at Clarke’s face, but when she did, it broke her heart. 

Clarke was broken. She had been beaten down so far that she wasn’t sure if the Clarke in front of her would ever be the one she had known again. Lexa placed the knife on the table behind herself and stood up straight in front of Clarke. 

“If you had waited for the guards to leave, I could have just let this go,” Lexa quietly told Clarke. 

Clarke slowly nodded. Her eyes shimmered with tears as she looked up, uncertainly at Lexa. “I want to be mad at you. I should be.”

“I know,” Lexa accepted the weak statements easily. She looked Clarke over. She gently pushed Clarke’s hair away from her face. 

“Do you have to kill me now?” Clarke softly asked.

Lexa shook her head, withdrawing her hand, “I’ll take you as a political prisoner. You’ll stay in the south wing of my residence with the door locked from the outside.” She could see Clarke crumbling toward her and opened her arms when Clarke let herself need Lexa for support. 

Lexa put her hand on Clarke’s head, cradling it, “Have you heard of the tale of beauty and the beast?”

Clarke nodded against Lexa’s shoulder, tears spilling down her cheeks, “Except this time the beast is being locked up.”

“You are not the beast,” Lexa closed her eyes, holding Clarke against her body, “You are lost.”

“I’m so lost,” Clarke quietly sobbed. “I tried to do everything, but…it’s not enough. It’s never enough.”

Clarke’s words touched somewhere deep inside of Lexa. She stroked Clarke’s hair away from her face, “You need rest and food. You’ll have both in Polis.”

Clarke nodded slowly. She pulled away and looked at Lexa, finding an understanding that she knew was genuine. 

Clarke wiped her face, “I’m sorry. I don’t-”

Lexa waved off her apology with a flick of her wrist. She looked to the doorway which was still vacant.

The blonde looked around, “Are you coming with me to Polis?”

Lexa took a deep breath, “I have some things I must do. I’ll be in Polis in four days. You’ll be there in one. But I will come see you as soon as I arrive.”

“You don’t-” Clarke shook her head, knowing that she didn’t have to right to ask such things from Lexa. 

Lexa started to reach for Clarke again, but thought better of it. “I’ll see you in a few days.” Lexa called out in trigedasleng to the guards who ran back in. They lowered their arrows on Lexa’s command and took Clarke into their custody. Lexa gave them detailed instructions as they shackled Clarke’s wrists together. 

Lexa watched then escort Clarke out of her tent and closed her eyes as the door fluttered closed. She leaned back on the table behind her and ran her hands over her face. She could still smell Clarke all over her. 

With a breath, Lexa straightened up and resumed what she had been doing when she was attacked. She had business to attend to before she could return to Polis. 


	22. Clarke, WHAT are you doing?

Clarke looked up at Lexa in the single lantern light. She squinted trying to adjust to the sudden light. “Um,” she stepped fully into the tent and swayed a little on her feet. 

An amused smile curled on Lexa’s lips, “You’re drunk.”

“I’m not I-” Clarke closed her eyes for a moment and realized that she was pretty drunk, “I’ve been drinking, but…” She looked down at the piece of paper in her hand, “I wanted to give you this.” She took a shaky step forward and placed it on the table in the room, “It’s um, I know things have been weird, but…” She took a step back toward the door. She paused, “It’s stupid.”

Lexa crossed the tent to the table and picked up the folded paper. She slowly unfolded it to find a sketched picture of herself. It was after they had been chased by the giant gorilla and Lexa was watching over Clarke sleeping. 

“My dad used to say that it was important how we were remembered,” Clarke offered. “When I was alone in the forest for that long time…that’s how I remembered you.” Clarke looked down at her boots. She scraped one against the rug on the ground. “Sorry I woke you.” 

Lexa watched Clarke step out of the tent before smiling to herself, remembering how she watched Clarke sleep and make sure she was protected. She slowly folded up the picture and placed it in a book on the table before returning to bed. 


	23. Nothing much happened since you've been gone; Lexa saved us from an invasion almost died and got like fifteen new scars, I'm doing your mom, we have a new water system, got a few apple trees on a trade...

“Lexa was here,” Clarke asked after taking a sip of her water.

Raven nodded, “She’s still here.”

“ _That_ is what you picked up on in that mess?” Octavia chuckled softly. 

Clarke shook her head like it was dusty, “Why is she here?’

Raven glanced at Octavia and shrugged. Raven adjusted herself on the rolling stool in Abby’s quarters in the Ark. “You didn’t see the tents outside of the fence?”

Clarke shook her head, “I’m kinda…fuzzy.”

“Not sleeping and eating for days will do that,” Abby walked into the room with a wooden bowl of stew. Raven immediately vacated her seat and rolled it to Abby. 

Abby sat down and handed the stew to Clarke. Clarke accepted it and immediately started eating, “I ate some stuff.” Clarke took a large bite, “Not like this though.”

“The Commander wants to know how you are,” Abby told her daughter. She looked Clarke over. 

Clarke shrugged. She looked around the room and found Bellamy’s eyes. They shared a wary look. 

“She’s not bad,” Raven spoke up. “She wants to help.”

“How do you know?” Clarke snapped. 

“We have physical therapy together everyday at the same time,” Raven answered, carefully watching Clarke’s face. 

Clarke furrowed her brow, “She’s…. why does she need physical therapy?”

“She was injured pretty badly in the battle to defend us,” Abby told Clarke. She nudged the bowl to remind Clarke to eat. 

Clarke nodded slowly, “Oh.” She took another bite of stew.

“I’m going to go get Lexa. Jackson can do our therapy today,” Raven touched Abby’s shoulder, “Then I’ll take Octavia and Bellamy to the meeting.”

“Thank you,” Abby placed her hand on Raven’s before Raven walked out of the room. 

Bellamy leaned close to his sister and whispered, “Wait for it.”

A grin grew on Octavia’s face as she saw recognition wash over Clarke. The blonde’s eyes shot to her mother, “You and Raven are having sex?”

The Blake siblings snickered to each other and Abby rolled her eyes at them. “Don’t you have patrols to check on?”

Bellamy nodded and pushed Octavia toward the door. “We’ll come back later,” Bellamy followed Octavia out with a smile. 

* * *

 

"So Clarke is here, maybe your new cane would sway her, or you could use it to defend me when she realizes that I'm dating her mom."

“Clarke is here?” Lexa asked, laying in a bed next to Raven’s in the clinic. 

“Yeah,” Raven looked up at the ceiling while Jackson was moving her leg around, “Jesus Christ, Jackson. Do you don’t somewhere to be or something?”

“No, sorry,” Jackson sighed, “I’m not…as familiar with the patient as Dr. Griffin.”

“Damn right you’re not,” Raven rolled her head over to look at Lexa, “Clarke looks rough, but I think as soon as she gets to eat well, she might be after me. Is it cool if I hide in your tent for a while?”

“We’ll hide together,” Lexa resumed doing the stretches that Abby had taught her so she could regain full mobility. 

“You don’t want to see her?” Raven asked. 

“Of course I do,” Lexa winced when she hit a sore spot, “But I do not think she wants to see me.”

“Jackson, you’re awesome for cuts and bullet wounds, but please go help Lexa,” Raven took her leg away from him and sat up. “And remember that Lexa can kill you one bare hand.”

Lexa shot a smile to Raven who raised an eyebrows. “Do you want me to go see how Clarke would feel about meeting you?”

“You’d do that?” Lexa asked, “Even though she’ll be angry with you.”

“Hell no. I was going to ask Octavia to ask Abby to ask Clarke,” Raven slid off of the bed and shook her head, “Clarke is too hardcore for me. Perfect for you, but…slightly terrifying to me.”

* * *

 

"Clarke, what do you think of the new apple trees?"

Raven had been sitting under the saplings, by herself, avoiding the blonde that had somehow found her. 

“I be earth apples taste better than the ones on the Ark,” Clarke stood next to Raven and pointed to the ground, silently asking if she could sit.

Raven nodded. She pulled her knees toward her chest and looped her arms around them as Clarke sat down. “Lexa brought some dried apple slices with her. Those were better than the apples on the Ark.”

“You and Lexa have been hanging out?” Clarke asked, looking forward toward the forester they were facing.

Raven shrugged, “Yeah. We bonded over our bum legs. You’d be surprised how much you learn about someone laying on your backs next to each other while Ab- someone works your hip joints so much it feels like they’re coming out.”

Clarke allowed a moment of silence to pass between them. “I’m not mad at you for…seeing my mom. I was just surprised. Just…can you keep the PDA down around me.”

“Deal,” Raven let the stress melt from her body. She felt relieved that Clarke wasn’t mad at her.

“Why is Lexa avoiding me?” Clarke asked, looking at her hands on her outstretched legs.

“You two didn’t part on the nicest terms,” Raven looked at Clarke, “She’s still messed up about what happened. She did what was right for her people, but she felt bad for what she did to you.”

“She told you everything?” Clarke turned her head toward Raven. 

Raven swallowed and nodded, “I don’t feel like she has a lot of people she can talk to in the grounders.”

“She doesn’t,” Clarke answered quietly. Clarke inhaled deeply, “Can you…tell her that I want to talk to her? I’m… I don’t know how I feel about her, but…I’m not going to hurt her or yell at her. I’m…worried.”

“She’s worried about you too,” Raven added as Clarke stood up.

Clarke nodded in acknowledgment. She put her hand on Raven’s shoulder, “Thank you, Raven.”

* * *

 

"If you want to talk to Lexa that's good, but you can't say anything about the cane."

“She’s really sensitive about it,” Raven swayed a little in front of the door to Lexa’s tent. She lowered her voice, “And she’s still a little worried that she won’t gain full function back in her leg even though Abby said she would within a few weeks.”

Clarke nodded, “Okay.”

“Please be ni- I mean, you don’t have to be nice- nice. Just don’t be mean, okay?” Raven looked deep into Clarke’s eyes trying to make sure that Clarke wasn’t going to attack her new friend. “She doesn’t deserve it.”

“I know,” Clarke’s eyes dropped to the ground. She pulled them back to look at Raven. 

Raven nodded once and then stepped aside. She sat down next to the door of the tent, letting Clarke know that she’d be back inside the second things went south.

Clarke pushed aside the heavy cloth the served at the door and stepped inside. Lexa immediately stood from her throne, but kept most of weight on one leg and one hand on the arm of the metal chair.

“You don’t have to stand up,” Clarke quietly breathed out into the stale air of the room. 

Lexa’s sharp eyes followed Clarke as she walked closer. She gestured to the table in the room that was surrounded by chairs. Clarke recognized some of Raven’s doodlings on the papers on the table as she grabbed one of the chairs. 

Clarke placed the chair diagonally, partially facing Lexa, but also looking toward the empty bed area of the tent. Clarke sat down in the chair and saw Lexa sit down as well. 

“So,” Clarke wanted to start with something light, “You and Raven are friends now huh?”

Lexa nodded deeply, “She is a good friend. She’s smart.”

“She is,” Clarke swallowed. She scratched her eyebrow and looked at Lexa, “I- I don’t know why I’m here. I just wanted to check on you, make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m well,” Lexa looked at Clarke’s face, seeing a weariness that wasn’t there before, “How are you? Did your journey bring you the answers you’d hoped?”

Clarke shook her head. She looked away from Lexa feeling that Lexa could see right through her. She took a deep breath, “How do you do it? Leading people like this? Doing…whatever it takes and then…still being able to look them in the faces?”

There was a long silence. Lexa sat tall in her chair when she answered very quietly, “I don’t know that I’m doing a very good job of it.”

Clarke’s eyes shot to Lexa. It always struck her how young Lexa looked without her warpaint. Clarke’s parted a full ten seconds before she could manage words, “Your people are still alive. That’s something.”

“So are your people,” Lexa added.

Clarke nodded, “Sometimes that doesn’t feel like enough.” She rubbed her hands together, the cold of the tent starting to creep up on her.

“Sometimes it has to be enough,” Lexa stood from her throne and looked around. 

Clarke spotted the cane more quickly than Lexa and grabbed it from where it rested against the throne. Clarke could see the muscles in Lexa’s face tighten when she handed it over. Clarke didn’t say anything. She watched painfully as Lexa used it to limp over to her bed. 

Lexa returned to her seat and handed Clarke the fur she had retrieved. “Your mother says this will go away, but…some days it doesn’t feel like it.” Lexa used her cane to tap the shin of her left leg. 

Clarke put the fur around herself and looked at Lexa’s leg, “I’m sure it will. My mom isn’t usually wrong.”

“Sometimes…we can only do the best we can do and then we have to live with the consequences,” Lexa’s head was bowed, but her eyes kept watch over Clarke. 

Clarke nodded, “I just wish…I wish that it was that easy. Living with the consequences.”

“It’s easier when you have friends,” Lexa offered. She gestured to the door, “Raven is a fierce friend. I believe she is as much your friend as she is mine.”

The blonde ran a hand through her hair. “I just…they tortured her and I can’t look her in the face and tell her that I still don’t know if I made the right decision. They tortured my mom.”

“The past is a dangerous place to live, Clarke,” Lexa’s tone was of warning and Clarke knew Lexa meant it. 

Clarke leaned forward in her chair, placing her forearms on her knees. She hung her head and nodded, “I know.”

“Sometimes, our decisions as leaders will break us, but we must not show it,” Lexa’s voice grew quiet again. 

Clarke shook her head, “I showed it. Everyone knows I’m a mess.”

“You’re not a mess,” Lexa argued. “You needed some time to yourself. That is understandable. But you’re here now and your people need you.”

“They keep asking me if I’m okay,” Clarke inhaled, “I don’t know what to say.”

Lexa only nodded. She understood. “Maybe we don’t have to be okay to be what our people need.”

Clarke nodded. “Can I…stay here for a little while? I can’t…”

“You can always come here,” Lexa graciously nodded. 

 


	24. Octavia you're to marry Heda.

An eruption of objections made it almost impossible to decipher any of the words.

Indra buried the head of her ax in the table to stop all the noise. “I know that no one likes it, but we need a ceremonial marriage between the Sky People and the Woods Clan to strengthen the coalition.”

“She can marry Clarke,” Octavia banged her fist on the tble. 

Indra leaned forward on the table toward Octavia, “Do you know where Clarke is?”

Octavia looked back at Bellamy. Bellamy shook his head and Octavia swallowed, “Give me a week and a horse. I’ll find her.”

Indra slowly turned around and looked at the throne where Lexa was sitting. Her eyes were glazed over like she wasn’t really in the room. “Heda?”

Lexa looked up at Indra. Her words were slow and tired, “Do what must be done.”

Indra took a deep breath and gestured for Lincoln to go with her. “You have one week and if you don’t come back  _I_  will come find you.”

Octavia nodded. “I’ll be back with or without Clarke.”

* * *

 

A week has passed, what'll happen if Octavia comes without Clarke?

“Then Octavia marries the Commander,” Indra stated. She paced the entrance to the camp with her sword out. She looked out into the forest and whispered, “C’mon, Sky Girl.”

Raven leaned on a nearby tree. She watched the forest for a few minutes before deciding to sit down, “Why does Octavia have to do it?”

“The most decorated warrior of each clan must marry,” Indra drug the tip of her sword in the dirt. “The Commander is the most decorated of all clans and Octavia is the best Sky People warrior.”

Raven nodded, “Make sense.” She leaned her head back on the tree, “What does your custom say about mechanics? Does that count as a warrior somehow?”

Before Indra could answer, a horse silhouette appeared in the early morning fog. Another one appeared behind it and the riders came into view. 

“Holy shit,” Raven quickly stood up. She hadn’t seen Clarke for a long time and Clarke looked rough. 

Octavia sat in front on the horse Clarke rode and Lincoln rode behind them on his own horse. Indra moved to the side of the entrance and shared a nod with Octavia as they road in. 

Raven and Indra followed the horses into town. They were already gathering a large crowd. Indra met them in front of Lexa’s tend and pulled open the flap for them. 

Lexa didn’t look up from her quiet contemplation when the small group invaded her tent. 

“Commander,” Indra sternly asked for Lexa’s attention. “Your betrothed has arrived.”

Lexa blinked slowly moving her gaze up to the group. She fully expected to see Octavia standing before her, but in front of her, she saw a line of people which contained Clarke. 

Lexa held Clarke’s eyes. She could see the same tiredness that she felt all over her body. Clarke’s gaze was blank when it combed over Lexa. Lexa didn’t stand when she waved her hand, “Leave us.”

Indra ushered everyone out, leaving Clarke and Lexa alone in the tent. 

“You came back,” Lexa quietly stated.

Clarke nodded, seeming to acknowledge Lexa for the first time. “I owe it to my people.”

Lexa inhaled through her nose, “I wish things were different.”

“Before or now?” Clarke asked, very little emotion on her face. She seemed bored.

“Both,” Lexa confessed.

Clarke shrugged, “Things don’t always turn out how we want.”

Lexa nodded. She dropped her head into her hands, falling back on her chair. She rubbed her eyes and looked up at Clarke, “Would you like a drink?”

Clarke shook her head, “Just tell me how this happens.”

Lexa explained about the ceremony and the living arrangements. Clarke listened passively until Lexa was done. 

“Just because I’m doing this doesn’t mean I forgive you,” Clarke held Lexa’s eyes and stated coldly. 

Lexa’s face turned hard, “I don’t need your forgiveness, nor will I ever ask for it.”

A smiled tugged at the corner of Clarke’s lips. She saw a glimpse of the old Lexa. She had missed that Lexa. She took a deep breath, “Let’s go get dressed.”


	25. "Clarke, you do realize what you just did is a huge courting gesture for grounders, right?

“I…what?” Clarke stood up from the campfire she was crouched at. “To you? I’m sorry I-”

“No,” Octavia waved Clarke off, “To The Commander. You kinda asked her to marry you?”

Clarke didn’t seemed alarmed so much as curious, “How?”

“You left clothes and weapons in her tent,” Octavia answered, “I saw you go in there with them and leave without them.”

“What does it mean if she left them in my tent first?” Clarke grinned. 

“Like she let them as presents for you?” Octavia’s eyes widened, “It means she started courting your first and you returned them so…you’re rejecting her.”

“Not exactly,” Clarke looked across the camp and spotted the object of the conversation. “It means that she stayed in my tent last night and forgot most of her stuff when she left this morning.”

“Oh,” Octavia looked down. Then her eyes shot up so Clarke, “Oh!” 

“Yeah,” Clarke smiled softly, “So, I’m not worried about the courting stuff. I kinda already locked it down.”

“Okay,” Octavia nodded. She looked at where Clarke was looking and saw Lexa looking back at Clarke, “Congrats. Now if you’ll excuse me, I owe Raven some money.”


	26. "I don't want to work in the clinic again, Raven keeps inventing really weird diseases so she can keep flirting with my mom.

“The Chancellor wouldn’t need as many people working in the clinic if your girlfriend wouldn’t push the guard so hard,” Octavia explained. “Indra said that Sky People are clumsy because there’s no gravity in space and Lexa gets frustrated.”

Clarke scratched the back of her neck, “I can talk to her. I just can’t take Raven saying something like-”

“Abby, I’m freezing and you look so hot today,” Raven was leaning on the counter of the clinic, “Do you think you could warm me up?”

“Shoot me now,” Clarke rolled her eyes. 

Octavia drummed on Clarke’s back, “I gotta go report to the Commander for Sky People training.”

“Good luck,” Clarke called after her.

“You too,” Octavia added, walking off. 

Clarke stepped into the clinic. She saw her mom leaning on the table across from Raven. She knew that her mom was into Raven, but her mom wasn’t going to say yes to Raven, unless Clarke gave her a blessing. 

Clarke sighed. She figured if she said yes then maybe they would keep their flirting out of the clinic. “Can you two please just start dating?”

“Can we?” Raven perked up. She looked at Clarke, really hopefully. 

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Will you stop coming in here to hit on my mom?”

“I swear,” Raven put her hand up. 

Clarke nodded then gestured to her mom. 

Raven turned to Abby, “Can I please take you out on a date tonight? I don’t know what we’ll do, but it’ll be nice and romantic. You don’t have to do anything.”

Abby glanced at her daughter one last time to make sure Clarke was really okay with it. Clarke smiled and nodded. Then Abby nodded to Raven. 

Raven turned to Clarke and hugged her, “Thank you. I swear your mom will be treated like the goddess she is.”

Raven quickly moved back to Abby and kissed her cheek, “I’ll be back to pick you up at dinner time.”

They both watched Raven run out of the clinic. Clarke turned to Abby, “Now we can get some work done.”

Abby pulled her daughter into her arms, “Thank you for this.”

“You both really like each other,” Clarke shrugged, “It’s stupid for me to try to stop that.”

“If you have problems with us going forward, let me know,” Abby stepped back. 

Clarke shook her head, “No. If she makes you happy then I want you to be happy.”


	27. And really Raven wanted to tease her friends for being whipped, sadly both Bellamy and Lexa not only owned it, they were proud about it.

She crossed her arms, watching Bellamy and Lexa wash their girlfriends’ clothes in the river. “You two are so whipped.”

“I suppose that whipped is a colloquialism I haven’t learned yet,” Lexa looked to Bellamy.

Bellamy nodded with a grin, “It means you’ll do anything your girlfriend asked you to.”

“You know ‘colloquialism’, but not whipped?” Raven dropped a duffle bag down by the water and picked out a shirt to start washing.

Lexa looked back up at Raven, “Yes. I am whipped.”

“Me too,” Bellamy laughed, rubbing the clothes against a rock to get some blood off. “How do you get blood off of these?”

“Oh here,” Lexa handed Bellamy a small bar of soap, “Nyko makes the best soaps.”

Bellamy smelled it, “Echo will love this. It smells like that tree you guys use to make the planks for cooking.”

Lexa nodded. “It’s made of the same thing.”

“So whipped,” Raven shook her head, looking at a dark spot on the shirt in her hands before plunging it into the water.

A small smile graced Lexa’s lips, “Isn’t that the Chancellor’s shirt?”

Raven blushed and moved the shirt a little farther away from Bellamy and Lexa, “I am _not_  whipped.”

Bellamy made a soft whipping noise in Raven’s direction. She just huffed, “Shut up and hand me the soap.”


	28. Chapter 28

“There you are,” Clarke announced her presence before stepping into the tent. She had learned the hard way that sneaking up behind Lexa without warning was ill-advised. 

Lexa looked up from her maps to recognize Clarke. She didn’t say anything. She just waited.

Clarke lingered near the door and gestured to the bed, “Can I…stay here again tonight?” Her eyes swept the floor, “This is the- the last time.”

Lexa gestured to the bed, offering Clarke a safe place to sleep once again. 

When Clarke appeared on the outskirts of Polis, Lexa didn’t question it. She knew that Clarke would come for her eventually. 

What she didn’t anticipate was Clarke asking for some water and a place to sleep. When Clarke materialized at the door of her tent in the middle for the night, Lexa was sure Clarke had come to kill her, but instead, Clarke asked quietly - meekly- if she could stay in her bed. 

Clarke had stayed among the people of Polis, a quiet loner who talked very little and observed quite a lot. 

Lexa had never asked Clarke why she came. She didn’t want to upset Clarke. She knew that Clarke had been through so much, mostly because of Lexa herself. 

Clarke seemed to be asleep when Lexa finished planning a new building project so she took off her coat and her boots, before turning off the lights and laying in the bed next to Clarke. It was plenty large enough for the two of them so Lexa had allowed Clarke to sleep in her bed without much trepidation. 

Lexa laid on her stomach, her eyes on the door until they grew heavy in the flickering light of the fireplace. A soft voice pulled her out of the siren of sleep. 

“Why didn’t you ever ask me why I came here?”

Lexa turned her head to face Clarke in the dim light. “If you wanted me to know, you would have told me.”

“Or it could be that I don’t know at all,” Clarke studied Lexa’s face, “Why do you let me stay here?”

Lexa was quiet. She didn’t want to tell the truth because it would make her seem weak. She didn’t want to lie to Clarke because she felt that she owed Clarke much more than that.

But Clarke wouldn’t be happy with no answer. So she spoke, “My people owe you a great deal.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the complete truth. 

There was a silence between them as they studied each other, trying to sort the other one out. Finally Lexa asked, “Why do you think you’re here? Do you wish to kill me?”

 “I did at first. But I saw you and…” Clarke shook her head, “I knew that’s not really why I came.”

“Why did you come?” Lexa asked finally.

Clarke put her hand under her pillow, “I don’t know.”

Lexa accepted the answer. Some things weren’t meant to be known. She figured that that was the end of the conversation so she tilted her head up slightly so that she wasn’t facing Clarke completely, but it would be easy to check on her. 

Just before she fell asleep, she felt a soft warmth against her side. She automatically put her arm around Clarke and felt the blonde, giving implied permission, burrow into her chest. 

Lexa turned on her side so that it was easier to hold Clarke. The past few nights have just been sleeping on opposite ends of the bed, but this was new and terrifying and thrilling for Lexa. 

She felt Clarke’s breaths grow soft across her collar. Finally, Clarke spoke softly, “I feel safe with you.”

Lexa bowed her head, placing a gentle kiss on top of Clarke’s head. She hoped that she didn’t overstep. It just seemed like a thing she should do. Then she tucked Clarke back into the haven of her arms. “You can stay as long as you like.”

A soft kiss was returned on her collar bone and Clarke’s hands grasped the front of Lexa’s shirt, “Thank you.”


	29. Clarke: "Talk dirty to me." Lexa: "Your hair looks like it hasn't been washed for days."

Clarke took a step back, immediately offended, but slowly realizing by the confused look on Lexa’s face that there was something lost in translation.

“Um, talk dirty means to tell me the things you want to do to me,” Clarke kept her hands on Lexa’s hips and looked over her confused, but adorable face, “Like sexual things.”

Lexa took a moment before solemnly nodding, “That makes much more sense.”

“Does my hair really…look gross?” Clarke asked, taking a small step back, worried that she was somehow undesirable to Lexa.

The Commander shook her head, “I didn’t understand-”

“I _want_ to take a bath,” Clarke looked down at the floor between them, dropping her arms from Lexa completely. Lexa folded her hands behind herself waiting for Clarke to finish. Clarke took a deep breath, “I have had some bad experiences with water. I’ve almost drown a couple times…been forcefully drown.”

A frown creased Lexa’s forehead, “By who?”

The immediate protectiveness made Clarke smile, “It doesn’t matter. I just…get nervous around water, you know? I’ve been doing my best to,” Clarke touched her hair, knowing that it wasn’t the cleanest it had ever been, but feeling like it wasn’t the dirtiest either.

Lexa could see how conflicted Clarke was and she could hear how scared she was in her voice. “If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.” She shook her head, “However, I do not think this makes you any less attractive, Clarke.”

The smile on Clarke’s face grew. She took a deep breath, knowing that Lexa would never let anything happen to her. She held out her hand to Lexa and when Lexa’s took it, she gently swung it between them, “Would you take a bath with me? None of your handmaidens or whatever. I don’t want…anyone else…seeing.”

“Of course,” Lexa nodded. “I’ll have the bath drawn and we can take a bath. Alone.”

A few minutes later, Clarke was pacing in front of a full, steaming bath and Lexa was sitting on the edge of the tub, one hand in the water. “You don’t have to do this, Clarke.”

Clarke stopped moving and stood in front of the tub, “It’s just water right?” She took a deep breath and could feel her heart racing when she looked into the water. It couldn’t have been more than two feet deep, but the sight of the water garnished with flower petals made her heart hammer in her chest.

Lexa held up her hand, palm up to Clarke not saying a word, but looking at Clarke adoringly. Clarke placed her hand in Lexa’s, trusting her implicitly.

Lexa dipped her head down slowly, placing a small kiss in the palm of Clarke’s hand. Then she pulled her other hand out of the water and looked up at Clarke, ensuring that everything she was doing was okay.

Clarke slowly nodded and watched Lexa. Lexa ran her wet fingers over Clarke’s palm, spreading the fragrant water over her palm. Lexa dipped her hand in the water again and touched the inside of Clarke’s wrist, letting the water drip onto the ground between them.

A soft kiss on the inside of her wrist, made Clarke’s eyes flutter closed. She was torn between the fear and the tenderness. Lexa had always been so gentle with her, but this was above and beyond. This was understanding and caring and gentleness. This was love.

“You don’t have to do this today,” Lexa spoke to Clarke like a breeze through the forest.

Clarke swallowed the lump in her throat and slowly lowered herself to sit on the edge of the tub with Lexa. She looked down at the water and in the light of the candles, she could see Lexa’s face reflected off of the water. She smiled and her heart leapt when Lexa smiled back. It was so rare for Lexa to smile and every time it happened, Clarke melted a little bit more.

Clarke turned her palm to face Lexa’s and threaded their fingers together. Then with a deep breath, she lowered their hands into the water. It was warm and felt so good. She didn’t realize she had closed her eyes until Lexa had placed a hand on her neck, asking if she was alright.

Wanheda nodded, looking up at Lexa. “I guess we need to get undressed to get into the water.”

The ethereal smile on Lexa’s lips warmed the room. She gracefully stood and waited for Clarke to do the same. It didn’t take long before Lexa had shed her clothes, not the least bit shy about being naked in front of Clarke. Clarke did her best to focus on the gentle kisses Lexa was littering her shoulders with.

“I’ll get in first,” Lexa offered. She stepped over the side of the tub, placing her foot in the water. The other one followed and she held her hands out to Clarke, “You don’t have to-”

“I’m going to,” Clarke took Lexa’s hands. “Just…slow.”

Once Clarke’s feet were in the water, she nodded to herself. She was okay. There was nothing to panic about. But as she lowered herself into the water, she could feel herself panicking. She could feel her body want to fight and run away. She could feel her lungs filling up with water.

Lexa was already seated in the water, her hands connected to Clarke’s. “What can I do?”

Clarke opened her eyes and licked her lips. She took a long, deep breath and turned her back to Lexa, “Hold me. Okay? I’m going to sit down and…I don’t want to…” Tears filled her eyes and she fought every instinct that she had. She just pushed herself into the water and sat down, laying back against Lexa’s chest.

Lexa’s arms immediately wrapped around Clarke, but loosely in case she wanted to get out. Clarke didn’t like that. She took hold of Lexa’s wrists underwater and pulled them tighter around herself, needing to feel that Lexa was there. The strong muscles in Lexa’s arms flexed and she dipped her head down, resting her lips on Clarke’s shoulder, “Are you okay?”

Clarke nodded. She closed her eyes again, focusing on her breathing. She was in water. She was halfway submerged and Lexa was holding her. Lexa had her. Lexa would protect her.

The water had dropped at least ten degrees since they had gotten in and not another word had been said. Lexa had continue to rain kisses on Clarke’s neck and shoulders, but didn’t say anything. She didn’t ask anything of Clarke. She just tried to comfort her in the only way that she could.

“Can you…wash my hair?” Clarke asked, meekly. Her voice cracked and she trailed off at the end. She had spent the past fifteen minutes, trying to talk herself into getting her hair wet and she was sure that she was finally ready.

Lexa nodded with a small smile. She reached out of the tub and picked up a small metal pitcher. She submerged it in the water and touched Clarke’s arm, “I’m going to pour this on your hair okay?”

Clarke couldn’t answer. She just nodded. She tilted her head back and felt Lexa’s fingers on her back, gently swirling around, rubbing up and down to sooth her while the water started to race through her hair. At first she was uncomfortable. Any moment, she expected to not be able to breathe. But Lexa’s fingers reminded her of where she was. She was safe. She was with Lexa and she was safe.

“Was that okay?” Lexa asked, submerging the pitcher again.

Clarke nodded, “I’m okay.”

“I’m going to do it again,” Lexa stated, her hand starting to trace the scars on Clarke’s shoulder and then poured the water into her hair. Once her pitcher was empty she set it outside and picked up the bottle of herbs and extracts that grounders used to cleanse their hair. She told Clarke was she was doing and waited for a positive response before pouring it on top of Clarke’s head.

Then Lexa started to massage the mixture into Clarke’s hair. She gently massaged Clarke’s scalp and pulled the mixture through Clarke’s hair ever so gently. She would pause to occasionally touch Clarke’s skin to remind her where she was and who was there. She could kiss Clarke’s neck to remind her that she was safe.

Lexa felt a tense hand on her knee in the water and froze in place. She was about to help Clarke out of the water when she felt the soft ministrations of Clarke’s fingers, sweetly caressing her leg. A smile crossed her lips and she continued to gently wash Clarke’s hair.

Rinsing Clarke’s hair was easy and Clarke found that baths were not something to be afraid of as long as Lexa was there. Clarke offered to wash Lexa’s hair and by the time they were done the water had gone cold.

The walk to the bed was chilly, but once they were dressed, Lexa sat against her headboard, tenderly brushing Clarke’s damp hair.

Clarke had her eyes closed, enjoying the careful tenderness that Lexa had for her. Lexa announced that she was done, putting the brush to the side because she had already brushed her own hair and tied it back, away from her face.

On the bed, Clarke turned around and facing Lexa. She leaned forward and kissed the woman who ruthlessly lead thousands of people, but who would take the time to help her begin to conquer her fear of water. She leaned forward and kissed Lexa, trying to convey how thankful she was with her lips.

“Maybe,” Clarke smiled, kissing the underside of Lexa’s jaw and down her neck, “I should teach you how to talk dirty.”

Lexa hummed, the vibrations ticking Clarke’s lips, “I would like that very much.”


	30. pool noodle, tiara, zipper, fishhook

“Oh my god,” Clarke slowly rolled onto her back, her head pounding. She shielded her eyes from the sun and groaned loudly. “Where-“ She sat up, finding herself in the backyard of her mom’s house next to the pool astoundingly hungover.

Wells heard Clarke moving, but couldn’t bring himself to move at all. He had managed to get into a pool chair, but past that he was not moving an inch. “Morning Princess.”

She pushed up on her hands and knees, “Princess?” When she reached up to move her hair out of her face, her hand his a hard and sharp something on her head. She pulled it out and found a tiara in her hair. It took a moment to untangle it from her head, but when she did she sat back and examined it. “Where did I get this?” She tried to bend it, but it didn’t give, “It’s real.” Wells didn’t answer her.

She looked around the backyard which was in general disarray, but the most astounding thing was the rather large pool noodle raft that she had been intricately constructed and woven together with more pool noodle than they actually owned. On the raft, her mother and Raven were tangled together, both snoring lightly as they floated in the middle of the pool.

“What happened last night?” some part of Clarke wanted to crawl to the pool and just stick her face in it.

“I don’t know,” Wells answered, “This was supposed to be a barbeque, but you and Octavia kept yelling ‘Tequila’ and making everyone do shots with you.”

“Where is Octavia?” Clarke looked around.

“In the tree,” Wells half-hearted gestured toward the large tree in the backyard.

Sure enough Octavia was sleeping like a large jungle cat in the tree with the hulking figure of Lincoln curled up against the trunk of the tree under her, still sleeping.

Clarke looked down at herself, feeling more exposed than usual. She was even more shocked to find that she was wearing cut up shorts like a tube top. They were white with a long zipper down the front, but the crotch had been cut out so she could wear it. “What is this?”

“Raven’s shorts,” Lexa answered, walking out of the table with water bottles in one arm and a plate of bacon in the other. She miraculously looked normal, long wavy hair pushed to one side  and a light gray shirt that was actually Clarke’s. She stopped by Wells’s chair to give him water and a piece of bacon.

Then she joined Clarke by the edge of the pool. She set the plate down and opened the water for her girlfriend who immediately slumped against her.

“What happened to your hand?” Clarke asked, picking up Lexa’s left hand. There was a bandage wrapped around it that looked professionally done.

Lexa urged Clarke to drink the water, “I caught my hand on a fishhook while Raven and I were stealing pool noodles from the entire block. It’s fine. Your mom looked at it.”

Clarke shook her head, “What were we even celebrating?” Her head was pounding too much to really remember anything that happened in her life before she woke up next to the pool.

Lexa just smiled softly and picked up Clarke’s left hand. “This is what we were celebrating.”

Clarke found the ring on her finger set with a diamond and smaller blue gems on the side. And suddenly it call came back to Clarke. She kissed Lexa, “Oh yeah.” She slid the ring off of her finger and put it back on Lexa’s hand, “Why am I wearing this? I asked you.”

“You were only supposed to temporarily wear it until you got your engagement tiara,” Lexa put her arms around Clarke. “Which Anya delivered at two in the morning after threatening the jewelry store owner outside of his house.”

“Is she still here?” Clarke took a long drink of her water.

“She went to go get breakfast burritos,” Lexa blissfully smiled and kissed Clarke’s forehead.

“She’s already my favorite sister-in-law.” Clarke looked across the pool and saw Raven and her mother starting to stir, “So apparently that is a thing that’s been going on for a while.”

Lexa nodded, “At least three months.”

“How did you know?”

“They’re not subtle.”

Raven pushed up on the raft and looked around, confused. She seemed to immediately panic finding herself in the middle of the pool, but ending up tipping herself into it. Raven popped up coughing and sputtering and Abby laughed heartily from her place on the raft.

Raven heaved herself back up on the raft, her shirt and underwear clinging to her. But she didn’t stop on the raft. She grabbed onto Abby and rolled off of the raft, both of them laughing.

“Bloody marys!” Octavia called from the tree, without really moving at all.

Wells put his hand up, “That’s something I could get behind.”

Clarke put a piece of bacon in her mouth and stood up. She offered her hand to Lexa, “Let’s go get some more hair of the dog.” She put the tiara back on her head and took Lexa’s hand.

As they walked toward the house, Octavia swatted at the top of Clarke’s hair, “Don’t skimp on the Tabasco.”


End file.
